Maria Diecidue: Empowering communities in India for water sustainability

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Patty

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Preface: I met Maria Diecidue at a healthcare information technology conference meeting about four years ago. Each year, at this same conference, we got to know one another a bit more. When Maria, who lives and works in Chicago, briefly mentioned having gone to India through a corporate service program the last time we saw one another, I wanted to learn more. We didn’t get a chance to catch up, but when I started my blog last December, I knew I wanted her to share her story not just with me but with a wider like-minded audience.

A ‘bleeding heart liberal’ meets a ‘blue washing’
When she was young, Maria Diecidue, who describes herself as a “bleeding heart liberal,” wanted to join the Peace Corps. But as so often happens in life, she went down a different path. Years later, after IBM acquired the healthcare information technology company she was working for, Maria learned about IBM’s culture of giving at an employee orientation or “blue washing.” “It’s nice to hear that a multi-billion dollar corporation can be self-deprecating once in a while,” she said, of the “blue washing” reference. During the orientation, she was especially pleased to hear about IBM’s commitment to corporate citizenship. And, when she heard about the Corporate Service Corps, a four-week program modeled after the Peace Corps, she was ready to “drink the Kool-aid.” In the Corporate Service Corps, volunteers bring their knowledge and skills to an emerging country to address a community problem. Maria’s initial response was: “Where do I sign up? When can I go?”

Maria with her IBM colleagues and NGO India@75 (left to right): Arun Chaube of India@75, Miguel Contreras, interpreter Namita Goel of India@75, Zach Waltz, and Maria. (Photo credit: Mamtha Sharma, IBM)

Once she met the requirements to apply – employed for at least a year, good performance rating, and manager approval – she eagerly submitted her application, which included her preference to go to Asia from among IBM’s four geographical service areas. In her application letter, Maria talked about how population health has always been a challenge and how industrialization has made it worse. She firmly believes and is impassioned by the idea that technology should be used, not only for profit, but to solve global problems. In her essay, Maria also described her passion for environmental issues and the importance of a sustainable environment. As a docent for the Chicago Architecture Foundation, Maria was interested in the built environment and its impact on the earth.

Meeting members of the local NGOs. (Photo credit: Arun Chaube, India@75)

Maria, who is an IA Communications manager for IBM Information Management, was accepted into the program in May 2011, but not given her assignment until six months later. It wasn’t until the end of April 2012, however, after receiving about ten hours of instructions and cultural immersion lessons, that she and 12 other IBM employees were deployed to Indore, India, a city of two million people in the Indian state of Madhya Pradesh. They were divided into four groups, with each group assigned to a local NGO (nongovernmental organization). There are some 18,000 NGOs, which are supported by the business community, working throughout India, according to Maria. She and her two partners, both business consultants, Miguel Contreras from Chile with a background in mining and Zach Waltz, a fellow American with a background in government, were assigned to develop a basic toolkit of do’s and don’ts for water sustainability and management.

The "water goddesses" of Indore. (Photo credit: Miguel Contreras, IBM)

The “water goddess” (in red) of Rahul Ghandi Negar. (Photo credit: Miguel Contreras, IBM)

Tackling India’s water issues
Maria and her colleagues were dispatched to vulnerable communities – or slums, as they are called in the U.S. As many as 600,000 Indore citizens live in vulnerable communities. In most of these communities, water is delivered by big tanker trucks and the women and children who were responsible for collecting and transporting water via buckets and tubs to their communities. In Indian culture, women raise the children, cook, clean, and gather and distribute water. Many kids don’t go to school because they have to wait for the water trucks to show up, which at times is in the middle of the night. Even though the women had interpreters who could translate Hindi to English and vice versa, Maria said, “You could actually understand the women, understand their passion. It transcended language. It was magical.” During her visit to the Rahul Ghandi Negar community, Maria met some amazing women who she refers to as “our water goddesses.” Despite being treated as second-class citizens in their own country – by virtue of their ability to get cooperation and collect money from the community members – they established themselves as community leaders. They convinced the local municipality that they can manage a bore well and got one dug in the Rahul Ghandi Negar. Now, water is available in the community a few hours a day, several days a week. Maria’s hope is that the kids will be able to go to school regularly now that they are closer to the water source.

Maria and her colleagues at a meeting with the BGMS NGO, which is dedicated to women empowerment. (Photo credit: Arun Chaube, India@75)

In addition to observing the vulnerable communities, Maria and her colleagues visited developments for the growing middle class and schools for upper-class students. “Everyone is tapping into the same underground water-aquifer,” she explained, so all communities need to be educated on water sustainability. When the three saw how India’s natural water sources – its lakes and rivers – were polluted, Maria said, “We realized [access to clean water] was a problem not just for vulnerable communities but all communities, and it can’t be solved by one person.” One of the causes of water pollution in India is the lack of infrastructure for waste. All garbage, including plastic, is burned, which releases toxins such as fluorocarbon in the air and further exacerbates the environmental problems plaguing the country, she pointed out.

One of her colleagues was trained in a methodology developed by McKinsey & Company, in which transformation change requires changing the mindset, behavior, and capabilities of people. “A big part of that is recognizing and cultivating leaders and then replicating leadership within the community,” she explained. Maria and her colleagues worked with other NGOs in the area, comprising anywhere between five to 50 people, giving them the basic toolkit and designed to cultivate them into the green leaders of Indore by modeling the characteristics of the women they observed – the “charismatic ‘water goddesses.'” The toolkit itself teaches average citizens sustainable water management – how to manage water supply by harvesting rain water, recharging wells, and reusing grey water in the house, office, and community. Once the NGOs are trained, they continue the process of identifying and cultivating leaders, which creates a culture of self-sufficiency. “We worked nights and weekends [within the four-week period] to get it done,” she said.

The future green leader of Indore. (Photo credit: Maria Diecidue)

The future green leader of Indore with Miguel Contreras. (Photo credit: Maria Diecidue)

Maria and her colleagues conducted an awareness class in the schools, asking these students how they would manage water if they couldn’t get it from the tap or only had access to it for one hour a day but not every day of the week. Maria and her colleagues asked them if they knew anyone who did not have water running from the tap at home. They did. “We went through exercises with the students to try to enlighten them of these conditions that people in their own town have to deal with because they can’t access water,” she said. When students were challenged to come up with solutions, initially, their response was for everyone to get rid of the swimming pools. By the end of the program, students learned, for example, to take short showers, turn off the tap while brushing teeth, and washing and reuse gray water from dishwashing for watering plants. “They were very receptive, and it worked really well,” she said. “It was very moving.”

Great expectations and life post-India
Going into the program, Maria was hoping to “do some good and make a difference,” although, she admitted, “I had no concept of how I could make a dent in this whole big problem of water management.” She knew, however, that the experience would have a great impact on her – learning about an entirely different culture. The people she met were very warm and generous, sharing what they had, regardless of their socio-economic class. When they visited families in their homes, Maria and her colleagues were greeted with flowers and bindis on their foreheads. “It was like a religious ceremony; there was something spiritual about it,” she said, of the visits.

When Maria returned, she gave a presentation on her team’s efforts on water sustainability to her immediate and higher-level management groups. “In some ways, everything’s changed,” she said, of her experience. Not surprisingly, she is more sensitized to the sustainability of water and the environment. Coincidently Maria’s significant other had previously adopted six children from India, and spending time there gave her an understanding of his children’s birth country and created a deeper bond with him. She also formed a bond with the IBM team members in her group and her circle of friendship has expanded to Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Chile, Germany, Japan, and Mexico.

Maria with some of the children from Indore. (Photo credit: Miguel Contreras, IBM)

The physical challenges of living for two years in an emerging country at this stage in her life (Maria is 62) will likely preclude her from joining the Peace Corps upon retirement, which was something she thought she considered years ago, she doesn’t shut down the idea completely. “I don’t know, maybe, we’ll see,” she said, gamely. For now, she volunteers with IBM’s mentor program at a Chicago high school, which is collaborating with businesses and being funded by the federal government as a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) Academy. She recently presented at the academy, talking about her experiences in India and emphasizing the message of sustainability. She continues to do volunteer work, the most recent one for the Greater Chicago Food Depository. “Volunteer work,” Maria said, with conviction, “will always to be a part of my life.” In the meantime, she is happy to be working with a company that encourages its employees to do volunteer work and in doing so is a model for corporate citizenship. “We need more of this in the world,” she said.

Transitions and Transformations: Heidi Werner of Lava 9

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Patty

Nothing ever succeeds which exuberant spirits have not helped to produce.
– Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher, poet, and composer

Heidi Werner spends a lot of time making sure her customers find what they need.

When Heidi Werner and her two business partners opened up Lava 9 (542 Hayes Avenue, 415.552.6468) in San Francisco in 1991, the impoverished Hayes Valley neighborhood was years away from being gentrified. The economy was down; yet, Werner pointed out, “It [the recession] always opens up opportunities, too.” Driven by youthful exuberance and cheerful indifference of economic conditions, Werner said of that time, “You just go for it!”

Werner knew the owners of Nomads on the block and was drawn to the diverse and eclectic vibe of the neighborhood. The rent was low and the storefronts were small, blank slates, which enticed not only Lava 9 to lay down stakes but other young entrepreneurs, as well. “We created that neighborhood,” Werner said. Nomads, Zonal, and Lava 9 are the original three shops from the early days that are still standing.

Amazing statement rings on display.

One of her partners, a jewelry designer, already owned a store called Volcano, which figured into the name of their new store. The three of them randomly added the “9” because Lava was too short and the number 9 “sounded good.” The other two women were jewelry designers, while Werner was a leather artisan, creating mostly jackets and bags. Conceived of as a gallery, Lava 9 comprised a showroom for their leather and metal wares and a stage that served as their workshops. They sold their creations and soon afterwards carried other wares, most of which were handmade and selected on Werner’s buying trips.

More Lava 9 jewelry to drool over.

A True entrepreneurial spirit
Werner supplemented her income by working at another leather store, but quit when her business partner called one day to inform her that someone had stolen five of her leather jackets. Convinced the theft wouldn’t have occurred on her watch, Werner told herself, “That’s it!” The spontaneous decision to quit and put all of her energies into the store did not rest on whether or not she could do it financially. “It was the true entrepreneurial spirit,” Werner said, of the drive that sprang forth from her. She had told herself back then that it had to work. “And it did!” she exclaimed. When funds were low, Werner would sell two leather jackets the day before rent was due. “Things just worked out,” she said, simply.

An ethereal dress and lots of leather purses.

A casual yet modern dress and lots of leather purses.

One partner dropped out after three months, and the other left before the end of the first year after creative differences. Although the partnership didn’t work out, starting a business with others gave her a sense of security and “more power to do it.” When they left, she carried on without hesitation. “I was fine – I was the most determined,” she said, of the business venture and the solo effort. To this day, Werner, now 54, still subscribes to the philosophy of “Just do it” and not get too caught up with issues. At the same time, she has been frugal from a business perspective. “That’s what helped me through the downturns,” she explained. Just as important, Werner invested in a lot of sweat equity. “Hard work pays off,” she said.

A Passion for sewing
When Werner was a girl in Germany, her mother enrolled her in a sewing class, which sparked her passion for sewing and led to her taking design and pattern-making classes. As a teenager, she often designed and sewed outfits a few hours before going to parties. Although she earned her degree in special education, when Werner came to the U.S., seeking adventure, she turned to making small leather goods, which she sold at small venues such as the Haight Street Fair and other neighborhood street fairs. It often took weeks to craft a leather jacket because of the custom work – Werner would make the pattern, buy the leather and findings, and then sew the garment. She eventually hired a pattern maker and tailor. She still designs some bags, which are made by her tailor.

Lava 9’s inviting storefront near the top of Solano in Berkeley.

The Rise of Lava 9 in Berkeley
Werner opened up her Berkeley shop (1797 Solano Avenue, 510.528.5336) more than four years ago at the former location of Soap Sistahs after a experiencing a midlife crisis. At that time, she wanted to do something different and had designs on becoming a dog trainer (Werner has rescue dogs). But when she heard that the owner was closing the soap store and retiring to Mexico – a scenario that also greatly appealed to her – Werner decided to convert the storefront into the second Lava 9. The new location was ideal because Werner lives in Berkeley, but more importantly, designing and setting up the compact, rectangular-shaped store renewed her passion.

Although there is some crossover, the two cities boast different clientele, which means Werner must offer different products at each store. The Hayes Valley client is younger with more disposable income, whereas the Berkeley clientele is older. Interestingly, some of the Berkeley clients used to live in the Hayes Valley neighborhood but are now mothers whose kids attend the local school around the corner from Solano Avenue. For them, finding one of their favorite San Francisco stores in the East Bay is a pleasant surprise.

A great display of purses, belts, and clothes on a ladder.

While many designers come to her to show their wares, Werner actively searches for solo artisans, both local and European, whose works are unique, eclectic, and multi-dimensional. One of her biggest challenges is offering something that isn’t carried by another local store. “It’s an ongoing struggle to be different,” she said. In addition to offering unique products, her philosophy is to be able to sell something to everybody – from 14-year-old girls to 86-year-old grandmothers. Thus, Lava 9 carries wares ranging in price from $15 headbands to $4,000 rings. While the handful of economic downturns through the years has led her to introduce more affordable items, her aesthetics and her customer service have created a large and loyal customer base. As an added personal touch and a Lava 9 trademark, purchases are carefully wrapped in high-end designer fabric – scraps supplied by a friend who works in the industry – and tied with festive ribbons.

More gorgeous jewelry beautifully displayed.

Werner and her staff spend a lot of time with their customers, providing a personal shopping experience not found in most retail clothing stores. Managing the business and running between the two stores takes her away from making it an everyday experience, but the customer interaction is the thing that always draws her back and reminds her why she is still in business. “I love the people; I love all my customers,” she exclaimed, after helping one woman find the ideal belt and short trench, and another choose between two embellished scarves. Indeed, if you’ve ever been to Lava 9 and leisurely browsed through the collections of purses, scarves, belts, clothing, and, of course, jewelry, you can always expect a smile and being drawn into a friendly conversation.

Come in and say hi to Heidi at Lava 9.

Remembering my father on the anniversary of his birthday

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Patty

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

I took a lot of photos of my father in his garden while taking a photography class in 1982.

Yesterday was my father’s birthday. Given that he was 55 when I was born, he would have been 106 years old today. He came to the United States in the mid-1920s, following his older cousins when he was a teenager. His relatives laughed at him because he didn’t know how to speak English, and his defiant response was, “I know ‘yes’ and ‘no.'” This should have told me a lot about my father. But I didn’t appreciate his courage and resiliency because first I had to overcome the generational and cultural gaps between us, which didn’t happen until I went away to college.

Dad liked making cakes. He lined the kitchen cabinet shelf with a row of Betty Crocker yellow cake mixes, 1985.

When I went to UC Davis and wrote stories in my fiction workshops, in a nod to youthful naiveté and indulgence, I modeled my writing after great writers such as Hemingway and Joyce. Not surprisingly, my stories were artificial and awkward. Prompted by an unknown reason, I wrote a short story about a father and daughter. In one scene, Emily, the protagonist, is embarrassed when her elementary school teacher mistakes her father for her grandfather and tries to hush him when he speaks in broken English and proclaims that he is so proud of his daughter – who helps him with his spelling when writing letters to his relatives – because he never made it past second grade in his home country. My classmates, and my professor, really liked the story. The father, they enthused, was endearing and human; they wanted to know more about him. They wanted more of his story. On the other hand, they disliked the girl, who was cruel and disrespectful to her father. In writing that first story, which I still have, I, too, wanted to know more about him. And I, too, disliked the girl, and I wanted her to change.

My father loved to read the newspaper every day. He always bought the Los Angeles Times, 1988.

Confronting the past
Growing up, he was already an old man to me, retired by the time I was 10. As a child, I couldn’t appreciate his idiosyncrasies. He thought the new microwave we bought would blow up the house. I can still see him scurrying in his house slippers after the delivery men – from the truck, through the garage, and into the family room – telling them that the new color television console they were carrying would make us go blind. Sleeping with socks on would make our feet grow big (my sisters and I have big feet, so perhaps he was right). Sweeping the kitchen floor at night would disturb the fairies that ventured out at night. When I would come home from high school with severe menstrual cramps, he would follow me all the way to my bedroom, insisting I got sick because I went to bed with wet hair the night before. And yet, as soon as I crawled into bed, he would rush to the kitchen to boil water for my hot water bottle.

My father posing with one of my Christmas presents to him – a Giants baseball cap, 1994.

Instead of admiring the fact that he actually watched Babe Ruth play in Yankee Stadium, my sisters and I focused on how old that made him out to be! He loved major league baseball, loved the San Francisco Giants, though we grew up in Los Angeles Dodger territory. His favorite player was Willie McCovey. Once when McCovey hit a home run during a televised game, he stood up from his recliner – his version of the Wave long before the Wave became popular – and threw up his arms, yelling, “Home run!” When the network replayed the swing of McCovey’s bat and the ball sailing over the fence, he stood up again, waving his arms, and yelling, “Another home run!” This happened on more than one occasion with different players and teams. My sisters and I would laugh in a painful kind of way, and scold him, “Dad! That was a replay, not another home run!” He would look at us, confused, his eyes foggy through his forever-smudged reading glasses. We just rolled our eyes at him.

Life before fatherhood
I never learned about his life before he became a father until I took a number of Asian American Studies classes at Davis. That’s when I saw some parallels of his life to Carlos Bulosan’s America Is In the Heart. When I was home from college, I would ask him about his life. He didn’t like talking about the bad things – just as many of my relatives didn’t like to do – though when I pressed him, he admitted that he had experienced bigotry in America. “They called us monkeys,” he said, his lower jaw jutting out. While you could hear his wounded voice, he was an apologist, adding that there were some bad-seed Filipinos who ruined it for the rest of them who were no trouble at all to the whites.

Laura Leventer of Personal Pizazz showed me how to pair this maize-colored skirt with appliques with a chocolate brown blouse.

It wasn’t until after his funeral, after his passing on Christmas Day 1995 that my sister Heidi and I learned why he was so eccentric. (Another example: When I was in college, coming home from spring break, I came home to find out that he had imagined the bus driver who was taking him and his relatives to Las Vegas to gamble was instead going to take them to the desert and kill them. So he hopped into a cab once they got to Las Vegas and the car drove off; he was found three days later, wandering the oilfields outside of Bakersfield, 280 miles away, without his trousers and wallet.) Whenever his imagination ran wild, such as the time he insisted that fish were swimming in his bed, even as he threw back the covers and shined his flashlight on his empty wrinkled sheets, my relatives would click their tongue against the roof of their mouth and say, “That’s your dad!” I had this secret fear that his zany behavior was hereditary, and that at a certain point I, too, would be saying and doing loony things. Our uncle, his cousin, in fact told us that he was perfectly normal before the war, but that he had fought in the Battle of Leyte, which was one of the bloodiest battles in the Pacific Theater during World War II. He was never the same.

Upon hearing this revelation, I was relieved and then profoundly moved and saddened. What was he like before the WWII? How much of my father’s life would I have to piece together from relatives whose ability to recall was faltering, recognizing that he himself was an unreliable narrator when he was alive and I prodded him for stories? How much had I missed for good?

A Gorgeous & Green reclaimed vintage necklace made of chandelier pieces goes well with a contemporary glass bracelet and textile earrings by Paz Sintes of Spain.

One of my greatest regrets is not having published a book and delivered it into his open hands. While my mother wanted me to go into nursing or business school in college, my father appreciated my writing. He proudly wrote letters to his relatives about my modest accomplishments. After his funeral, when we were cleaning out his possessions from my parents’ bedroom, we pulled out an old green Samsonite luggage from beneath his bed. Among the papers inside was a yellowed clipping – dated 10 years earlier – of a UC Davis Aggie newspaper article and picture of the chair of the undergraduate English department standing beside me after having given me an award for one of my short stories. It was a painful reminder that I didn’t give him the gift of a published book after all. But more importantly, it affirmed his belief in me.

And in celebrating his birthday yesterday, I keep the faith alive in my borrowed mantra: Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing. And my echo: Yes, yes, yes.

Vintage floral purse mixes well with maize, chocolate brown, and contemporary and vintage jewelry.

Peggy Liou and Tenny Tsai: A Tale of two big-hearted friends (Part II)

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Patty

Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.
– Swedish proverb

Volunteerism: An Integral part of their lives
Peggy Liou, 58, attributes her volunteerism to Tenny Tsai, 59. “She is the biggest hearted person I have ever met,” she said, of her good friend. “Once you start it [volunteerism], that’s it; there’s no turning back.” Liou worked full time outside of the home, raised her son and daughter, now 31 and 23, respectively, but still found time to volunteer her time to charitable organizations. The key to volunteerism for multi-tasking mothers, and really, anybody, according to Liou, is to “surround yourself with friends who are into giving back. It makes it fun – like a friends and family event.” Tsai would often call Liou to volunteer, and Liou joked, “You can’t say no to Tenny.”

The family-formed walk group for the Alzheimer's Association's Walk to End Alzheimer's, October 2012. (Photo courtesy of Tenny Tsai)

The family-formed walk group for the Alzheimer’s Association’s Walk to End Alzheimer’s, October 2012. (Photo courtesy of Tsai)

Liou’s daughter, Christina, who is Tsai’s goddaughter, recalled growing up participating in fundraising events that soon became annual family traditions. “It [volunteer work] was a part of our lives,” the elder Liou said. Every October, for example, the two families participate in the Self-Help for the Elderly‘s Golden Gate Walkathon and the Alzheimer’s Association’s Walk to End Alzheimer’s in San Francisco. The purpose of the walk is to raise people’s awareness and raise fund. In June, they attend the Self-Help for the Elderly’s annual Longevity Gala with family and friends, an annual event which raises between $400,000 and $500,000 to fund the nonprofit organization’s services. In the past, Liou has helped organize and provide the entertainment for the gala.

There are so many charitable organizations to support – from prevention and finding cures to diseases and environmental protection to elimination of hunger and homelessness locally, nationally, and globally – that choosing where to invest one’s time and energies can be daunting. The decision is made easy, according to Liou, when you choose “where your heart is.” In the last six years, since her daughter entered Stanford University, Liou became more involved in education for both the young and the elderly.

Self-Help for the Elderly fundraiser dinner: Tsai, Rosalyn Koo, Tsai’s mother Tina, and Liou, June 2012. (Photo courtesy of Tsai)

Liou pointed out that the elderly rarely get much attention. Tsai, who was very close to her grandmother and was one of her main caregivers the last 10 years of her grandmother’s life, became passionate about issues around the elderly. Another good friend of hers introduced her to Self-Help for the Elderly when Tsai was asked to serve lunches to the elderly and drive the elderly participants for the walkathons. Gradually, Tsai became more involved and in a greater capacity. Around the time of her grandmother’s passing, Tsai was urged to join the board of the Alzheimer’s Association by a local committee member who said the organization needed an advocate who could speak on behalf of a more diverse community. Tsai served on the local board for seven years, following by eight years of service on the national board. Tsai’s passion and her commitment to the elderly were inherited by her daughter, Elisha Bonny, 29, Liou’s goddaughter, who is a nurse practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics.

Turning adversity into opportunity in order to give more
Just as Tsai’s life experiences informed her volunteerism, Liou’s triumph over breast cancer is leading her to new ways of giving. “Any harsh experience is a learning experience: I got cancer for a reason,” Liou said. Whereas last year’s goal was to recover and make three trips to China, her goal for this year is to “pick up a little more volunteer work” – as if she doesn’t have enough on her plate. Liou has been talking with cancer patients and is hoping to do more. She is especially keen to change the prevalent attitude among Asian patients who believe their cancer is a punishment from God for some transgression they had committed. “If I can share anything positive with people – that’s my calling,” she said.

After one of Liou’s treatments, with Tsai and her son, Garrett, and Liou’s daughter, Christina, 2011. (Photo courtesy of Tsai)

Tsai can relate to Liou’s gift of feeling blessed. When Tsai’s grandmother passed away, she felt a void, which is common among primary caregivers. Tsai recalled going to her grandmother’s bedroom and staring at her empty bed, wondering if her own life was finished. When she began volunteering with the Alzheimer’s Association – visiting with elderly people and comforting family members of the elderly, and then participating in policy development and supporting research for cures – her own grief was lessened. “It was also a way to lessen people’s burden,” she said.

Friends, family, and faith
When Liou met her oncology doctor for the first time, he told her he could tell on the first visit which cancer patients had better recovery and survival rates. Studies have shown that chances are greater when the patient was healthy before contracting cancer (that the patient didn’t have other health conditions prior) and how many family and friends accompany the patient to treatments and doctor visits. Faith, family, and friends have been fueling Liou’s recovery. The “three F’s,” as Liou calls them, have always played important roles in both Liou’s and Tsai’s lives.

The three families went on vacations together. Tsai and Liou at Lake Tahoe, 1983. (Photo courtesy of Tsai)

At the high-tech company where they met back in 1979, Tsai and Liou had befriended a coworker, Paul Roth, and the three formed a strong bond and friendship, which resulted in the three families taking vacations together. On walks at work, Tsai and Liou became the eyes for Roth, who had lost his sight at the age of 28 in a chemistry lab accident, by describing the physical world around them. At the same time, Roth helped them “see life more in-depth,” according to Tsai. Liou agreed, adding, “We helped him see with our eyes, but he helped us to see with the heart, to see things differently.” When Tsai and Liou came to Roth with their problems, he listened to them without passing judgment and in doing so helped them resolve their own issues through talking it out.

When Roth passed away in 2005, a small foundation was set up, and every year the Roth and Tsai children determine which organization will receive the donation. “It is a wonderful way for them to learn how to work together for a good cause,” Tsai said. The three families come together every year on the day of Roth’s passing, though Tsai points out that they celebrate his life by continuing to be involved with each other’s lives. Tsai and Liou have attended Roth’s two daughters’ and their children’s births, baptisms, and birthday parties, and the three families are planning a trip to Switzerland, Roth’s homeland, in 2014.

Faith intervened to preserve the two women’s friendship when Liou was first diagnosed and they clashed over what kind of treatment and which hospital to choose. With her college degree in clinical science and her understanding of the severity of the diagnosis, Tsai believed her friend should participate in clinical trials at the University of California at San Francisco. Liou, however, didn’t want to travel to San Francisco from her home in Los Altos, even though Tsai offered to drive her for every treatment, and instead opted for chemotherapy at El Camino Hospital. When Tsai found out, she cried, believing she was going to lose her friend. While Tsai admitted to being stubborn, Liou pointed out that Tsai merely wanted the best care for her good friend.

A smiling Liou after her second treatment, 2011. (Photo by Dee Lee)

Unhappy with the decision, Tsai nevertheless accompanied Liou to her first round of chemotherapy. Tsai offered a prayer before treatment, holding hands with Liou’s husband, Leo, and daughter, Christina. When Tsai concluded the prayer, Liou’s oncology nurse responded behind them, saying, “I love Jesus, too.” Her response was a spiritual confirmation for Tsai, who said, of that moment, “I surrendered my will to God, and I realized our friendship really took me to a different level that I have to trust.” Tsai had to trust God and love Peggy, and in doing so, she had to trust her friend’s decision and let her live her own life. “If I love her and care for her, I have to totally accept that, whether I like it or not,” she said. Tsai believed that this trial strengthened their friendship and made Liou’s journey not just a medical journey but a spiritual journey.

“It’s a humbling experience,” Liou said, of all the prayers that family and friends offered on her behalf, and even the prayers of people she didn’t know from Tsai’s prayer group. Despite the difficult time, Tsai said, “There was a lot of joy around us.” Liou said she could feel the strength and the power of prayer that was offered before the “poison” was put into her body during treatments. “I could feel the energy,” Liou said. “God’s grace is there, ready for us to draw from,” Tsai said, though oftentimes it is blunted by human will and wisdom when it comes to wanting to make our own decisions. Tsai came to realize that the type of treatment or hospital didn’t really matter in the end; what mattered was trusting in God to take care of her good friend.

Looking forward to the future
Liou is currently fundraising for the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life and volunteering her time at the American Cancer Society’s Discovery Shop (243 Main Street, Los Altos, CA 94022, 650. 949.0505). When Liou was undergoing treatment, Ruth Jeng, board chairperson and founder of PEACH Foundation, realized that “time doesn’t wait for anyone” and that she needed to do more so long as she was healthy. Acting on that revelation, in addition to the Chinese adage of “do good deeds” and the cultural responsibility of taking care of family, Jeng increased the quota for sponsorships from 400 students to 600 students in 2012 and raised 2013’s goal to 900 students. Liou worried about how the additional students would get funded, and then a sponsor from Taiwan, where an equivalent organization also operates, emerged. While Liou called it “a miracle,” she said, “It also confirms our belief in ‘just do it’ attitude.”

Alzheimer’s Association’s End Alzheimer’s Walk in San Francisco: Elisha Bonny (Tsai’s daughter), Tsai, Liou, and Christina (Liou’s daughter), carrying photos of Tsai’s grandmother, who died from Alzheimer’s disease, October 2012. (Photo courtesy of Tsai)

Tsai, who turns 60 this year, has been pondering her “second life.” Tsai sees her profession as a commercial real estate broker not as a series of business transactions but as a ministry. She is currently searching for a daycare for a church that wants to provide this service to families in need. She continues to work with the elderly, ensuring that their dignity and quality of life remain intact. She finds the greatest satisfaction with one-on-one visits with the elderly, helping them through the last stage of their lives. Tsai tries to spend as much time with her parents, children, and friends, trying to carry out her maxim: “Live like there’s no tomorrow.” Sometimes, Tsai admits, she can be accused of doing too much – juggling career, family commitments, and volunteerism. That said, she is merely living out her philosophy of “do[ing] everything today.”

Tsai experienced a revelation after one of her high school friends recently died of ovarian cancer. Tsai’s visits over the duration of 10 months didn’t change the outcome. What changed, however, was making her friend’s life as well as her own life “more bearable” during those visits. It was difficult for Tsai to watch her friend suffer and to let her go. Despite the physical pain, Tsai’s friend found great comfort in their friendship and in having Tsai be there with her. “If I can be the little buffer or little agent to be there, other people make my life more acceptable,” Tsai said. “That’s what it’s all about.”

Back in July 2012, when Tsai was looking at the PEACH Foundation kids, she wondered how she was giving them hope. “It’s not the one hundred fifty dollars or two hundred fifty dollars a year,” she concluded. “It’s the touch you gave the kids, the hug, and you being there. That’s the crucial word – that you’re being there for them.” At the many crossroads in their lives, Tsai and Liou have been there for one another, holding one another’s hand, listening to each other’s problems and in their listening helping them sort out the issues and resolve the problems themselves. “That,” Tsai concluded, as Liou nodded and smiled, “is what a good friend is all about.”

Liou and Tsai in Los Altos, February 2013.

Peggy Liou and Tenny Tsai: A Tale of two big-hearted friends (Part I)

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Patty

It is prosperity that gives us friends, adversity that proves them.
– proverb

Peggy Liou and Tenny Tsai, in Los Altos, February 2013.

When Peggy Liou, 58, was diagnosed with Stage III, Triple-Negative Breast Cancer in December 2010, her friend Tenny Tsai, 59, accompanied her to nine of her 10 rounds of chemotherapy the following year. [The only round Tsai missed conflicted with her son’s graduation.] During her treatment, Tsai promised that she would accompany Liou to China on a volunteer mission once Liou recovered. In July 2012, the two close friends, who met as programmers for a Silicon Valley company in 1979, traveled to a poor, mountainous region in China, where Tsai encountered what she called a “life-changing” experience and Liou returned to the children who, she says passionately, needed her – and whom she needed.

‘Walking the walk’
Since 2001, Liou has been involved with the PEACH Foundation U.S.A., which stands for Promoting Education, Arts and Community Harvest. The Foster City, CA-based nonprofit organization’s main project is to help children from the poorer regions of China stay in school. In China, education is free up until middle school. Finishing middle school is a challenge for students in remote regions, however, because their families can’t afford the room and board. The PEACH Foundation sponsors economically disadvantaged students, but they have to be motivated to stay in school, Liou explained. Thus, students nominated by the local middle schools must be among the top 20 in their class. Sponsors donate 125 USD for middle school students and 250 USD for high school students. A sponsor for 10 years, Liou became more involved in 2006 – “walking the walk,” as she refers to it – by traveling to China three times a year to conduct interviews and home and school visits.

Volunteer teachers for the first session of the PEACH summer camp in Yunnan, China, July 2012. (Photo courtesy of Peggy Liou)

“We don’t just give them the money; we care about the kids,” Liou said, which distinguishes the PEACH Foundation from other organizations. Every summer, the foundation sends volunteers to China to teach in summer camps. “The purpose of the camp is to care for those kids,” she said, which includes developing self-esteem, something the children lack because of the stigma of their socio-economic standing. Liou, who translates the children’s autobiographies from Chinese to English to post on the organization’s website, said that many of their stories “break your heart.”

Liou and her students at the PEACH summer camp, Yunnan, China, July 2012. (Photo courtesy of Liou)

Liou recently translated the story of a girl who had started school at the age of seven but quit at age nine at her parents’ request when her father became very ill. While her mother took care of her father and the household, she was responsible for taking care of the family cow, which meant taking it to the mountains, even in inclement weather. “I couldn’t help but cry when I saw other children attending school because I wanted to go back to school so badly,” the girl had written. Within a span of four years, her father was hospitalized and underwent two surgeries. When her father’s health improved, he told her she could return to school, but she thought it was “too late” and that people would laugh at her for going back to third grade at the age of 13. She came to realize, however, that if she didn’t go back now she would never have that chance again. On her first day of school, she wrote how excited she was to return and resume her education. The girl, whom Liou called “brave,” is now in the ninth grade.

Changing lives and being changed
Students who are accepted attend a new student orientation in the summer, which is run by up to 40 volunteers from the U.S. and Taiwan per section, with 400 students in each section. The orientation packs English and Chinese language lessons, music, and other activities into nine-hour days. Tsai had been a sponsor for the PEACH Foundation for four years, but eschewed volunteering for the summer camps because it wasn’t her “cup of tea.” Although Liou had asked Tsai to join her a few times in the past, Liou noted that it was Tsai’s over-commitment to other volunteer activities that kept Tsai from going.

Teachers and parents mold their students for years and their children for a lifetime, respectively, Tsai said, but after the 10-day camp, volunteers come away having changed somebody’s life – as well as their own. “You build a relationship with them,” she said. While volunteers can’t solve the children’s life problems, Tsai pointed out that these children, who often have never had people care about them, experience the generosity of strangers who have come into and made a difference in their lives.

Tsai teaching her students at the PEACH summer camp, Yunnan, China, July 2012. (Photo courtesy of Liou)

For Tsai, the experience also made her realize the tremendous scope and amount of work that Liou had accomplished in the last 10 years with the organization. “I was speechless,” she said. She also witnessed the tenacity and passion of her good friend when Liou badgered her doctors after each round of chemotherapy, wanting to know when she could return to the mountains of China. At first, Tsai was frustrated with Liou because they had discussed going to Europe when she recovered. With her lymph nodes removed as part of the treatment, Liou was advised against traveling and being in high elevations, but still she persisted. “Somebody else is up there!” Tsai scolded Liou, referring to other volunteers running the camp.

Tsai grew to understand and appreciate the bond Liou had developed with the children she knew and those she had yet to know. “It was almost the purpose, her goal for living,” Tsai said. In 2012, Liou participated in a cancer support group as she fought to recover. For her type of cancer, the recovery rate is two years and the survival rate is 50/50. “I’m the lucky 50 because I have a reason to live,” she said. “I have a mission waiting for me to do. I have kids who need me. They keep me going.” Liou said that the kids at the foundation saved her life, which motivated her to get well. “I have to do it; I have to go see them,” she added.

Liou spent 2012 recovering from her treatment and learning how to take care of herself and preparing herself for when – not if – the cancer comes back. “I’ve come alive again,” she said. When she wakes up every morning, Liou says she is grateful: “I learned how to live as if each day is a blessing.”

Editor’s note: Part II will be posted on Monday, March 25th.

Liou after her second round of chemotherapy, February 2011. (Photo by Dee Lee)

Transitions and Transformations: Jen Komaromi of Jenny K

Posted on March 8, 2013 by Patty

Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.
– F.W. Dupee, American literary critic, essayist, and English professor

Multi-tasking Jen Komaromi rings up a purchase while listening to a local customer.

Jen Komaromi was raised in a family that has been in the automobile tire business for three generations – in fact, since its invention. Her grandfather had managed a rubber factory in the Philippines post World War II. Her father was an international sales representative for Firestone, with Africa and Southeast Asia as his territories. (Komaromi was born in Liberia before her family relocated to Hong Kong.) Her father didn’t enjoy working for someone else and after starting a company with a group of former employees, he built up his own distributorship and sold tires wholesale and retail in the Sacramento area. Not surprisingly, owning a family business was not a goal of Jen’s because she had witnessed firsthand its many challenges. The entrepreneurial desire was hardwired, however, and surfaced when she worked at a café and bakery in Tahoe while also holding down a job in the forest service. Jen worked mostly by herself, standing up the restaurant’s newly opened bakery. During this time, she discovered her natural ability to sell things and help people out. “I really enjoyed it,” she said. “That was the very first taste [of wanting to run a business].”

The Beginning of Jenny K
When Jen moved to the Bay Area, she got a job with a Berkeley-based wholesale jewelry manufacturer that produced pewter charms. The gift industry intrigued her because it was full of innovation and mostly comprised small mom-and-pop-type outfits. “I loved it right away, and I’ve been in it ever since,” she said. In 2001, she decided to work on her own as a sales representative and upon the suggestion of a co-worker named her rep group Jenny K, which was an easy company name for her customers to remember. Jen sold manufacturers’ merchandise to retail stores – as small as her current store and as large as Cost Plus and Red Envelope – and landed key accounts that comprised a healthy percentage of the company’s business. While she thoroughly enjoyed the wholesale world, gas prices were rising and the industry as a whole became more challenging.

A Ryan Du Val mural above the storefronts graces Jenny K gift store and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar.

At the same time, Jen had developed a website and was soon filling product orders for this growing part of her business, which prompted her to convert her wholesale website to a retail site. When the paperwork and inventory of her online business began overtaking her house, her husband Kevin O’Neal suggested she find an office. The small space she found within her price range, which is two doors down from where she currently resides, had a storefront, which made it ideal to display her goods. The time she put into the store took away from being a sales representative, and she eventually threw her energy full time into Jenny K as a retail store (6921 Stockton Avenue, El Cerrito, 510.528.5350). Given her love of traveling, Jen was reluctant to give up her wholesale business and imagines going back to it one day, but she says she “finally embraced retail.”

Learning from the family business, following her instincts
Jen credits her staying power to her father’s “eternal optimism,” which she says is a necessity of owning a business. She remembers her growing-up years of living frugally and witnessing her parents struggle. “Because of that, I’m willing to make the sacrifices, whereas not everybody is willing to do that,” she said. Not that being in wholesale didn’t have its moments of difficulties – Jen recalled the early days of being a sales rep when she called her father in tears and he coached her through the rough times. “He trained me to be a salesperson,” she said.

Customers can find glassware and a large selection of greeting cards.

The idea to operate both a gift store and a café – Kevin runs their Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar (6925 Stockton Avenue, 510.528.4709), which opened in 2005 after Jenny K was established – came to her early on when she was a sales rep. Jen observed that one of her best customers in Scotts Valley, whose gift shop was next door to a Starbuck’s, was always busy. “I saw how successful that concept was,” she said. The other inspiration was the Cracker Barrel chain, which operates in the south. The model incorporates a gift shop and café, with patrons having to walk through the gift shop to get to the food. The gift store chain is the most successful in the nation in terms of sales volume, Jen pointed out. While Cracker Barrel’s theme is country, she wanted to create a California version of the chain store.

Jenny K has something for everyone.

Jen and Kevin pitched the idea of a café to group of people, but when no offers surfaced, they decided to do it themselves. “My husband is crazy enough to go along with my ideas,” she said, laughing. At the time, Kevin had a full-time job, but he soon quit to run the café side of the business. For many couples, the thought of working so closely together in a business venture is overwhelming, but Jen said, “We’ve been able to make it work.” It helps that their traits are complementary; whereas Jen comes up with ideas, Kevin follows through and gets the job done. “We balance each other out,” she said. “I couldn’t really do the business without him, and he couldn’t really do it without me.”

Jenny K is stocked with beautiful gifts such as these floral slippers.

When they first started, it took a while to play off of each other’s strengths and compensate for each other’s weaknesses, but they soon found their working relationship groove. Jen is quick to point out that if the retail store and café had started somewhere else other than El Cerrito, their business likely would have failed. “The community really embraced us, and forgave us for our faults,” she explained. “We are really learning how to do it all. We’re growing into our business.”

Abloom with resin and satin and tulle roses.

Blooming with jewelry – earrings and necklace by Yotl Designs – from Jenny K.

One thing Jen hasn’t had to learn is finding and offering high-quality products at a price point that local customers will support. Having grown up with parents and grandparents who collected antiques and art, Jen had long honed her sense of timeless style and an eye for distinctive products. For quality and environmental reasons, her store is devoid of tchotchkes. “I don’t want to create more garbage in the world or sell things people don’t want that end up in landfills,” she said. Jen has applied her green philosophy to both businesses. She likes to stock consumable products – her soap line is, in fact, her biggest selling product – and chooses goods that everyone can use. Using organic ingredients in the café distinguishes Well Grounded from other cafés, but it also honors Jen’s and the community’s commitment to being green and supporting organic lifestyles. El Cerrito has a long history of recycling and supporting green practices, and its newly redesigned recycling center received the highest rating for green building.

Bath and beauty products are popular items.

Jenny K in 2013 and beyond
Currently in the midst of a renovation that includes the addition of a bathroom and café seating along the big picture window at the front of the store, Jenny K will be completed in time for the Stockton Avenue May Art Stroll, an event Jen and her husband established six years ago. The stroll, which has been in hiatus the last two years, will be making a comeback this year.

With all the extra space to fill, Jen is expanding her product lines and range. The store boasts an upstairs “play space” that will soon be home for classes for older kids and adults, while the main level will be available for hosting birthday parties. Jenny K “tested” a paper airplane class in the fall, and its success has prompted her to plan a series of classes based on the Klutz craft kits. The first set of classes will debut in April.

There are all kinds of toys and books for every age group.

Expect more fundraising and other community events to take place now that Jenny K has more room. This past November, Jenny K held a week-long fundraiser for Portola Middle School, with 20 percent of the purchases being donated to the school. The fundraiser, which raised more than $700, culminated in a Friday evening soiree with wine and hors d’oeuvres and a jewelry trunk show with two local jewelry designers. “We’ve always been supportive of the community,” Jen said. When she and Kevin first came to El Cerrito, they were involved in helping to restore the Cerrito Theater. One of the big benefits of owning a business, according to Jen, is how much they can give back to the community. “It’s definitely one of our goals,” she said, of helping to create that sense of community in El Cerrito.

Jenny K carries a wide variety of jewelry designers.

Jenny K has been on Stockton Avenue since 2004. For now, the retail business works well for Jen, who has a son in kindergartener and a three-year-old daughter – both of whom can often be found “helping” Komaromi in her store and café. “It [the store and café] enables us to have a business where we can be here for our kids,” she explained, as she watches her kids race through the store and up the stairs to the play area. As a national sales manager in wholesale, she was on the road 30 percent of the time, traveling around the country, which is not conducive to raising a young family. Once her daughter is in elementary school, however, Jen wants to find a location that is more densely populated and would enable the gift store and café to truly be integrated and exist on a “grander scale.” For now, Jenny K and Well Grounded Tea & Coffee Bar are bustling and welcoming fixtures for the locals, especially on weekend mornings.

The Komaromi-O’Neil family greets customers at the entrance of Jenny K.

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