Looking forward to 2014

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
– T.S. Eliot, poet, dramatist, and literary critic, from Four Quartets

When I was in elementary school, my sister gave me a diary for Christmas one year. I had previously used a notebook and binder paper to record what happened or what I did on days that were worthy of recording. But once I got a real diary, I was spoiled and for several years afterwards I would get a new diary for each year. Soon my entries evolved from one-liners of what I ate or who came to visit to events that made me happy or sad followed by an analysis of why I was happy or sad. I created a tradition in which at the end of the year I would reflect and read what happened that year. I would write about what was memorable and what I learned. And then I would focus on my hopes and dreams for the following year.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

I’ve since abandoned writing a daily diary. I rely on the e-mails that I send to friends as a record of what happened and what I was going through internally. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions anymore, either. Or at least I don’t formalize them, write them down, and take assessment after a certain period of time has passed in the new year. When I write my holiday e-greeting letter, I do take stock of what I and my family did for the year, and at least in my head I reflect on the year and what goals I had set for myself that were achieved and what goals are yet to be met.

I think about what the New Year promises and what I want to do in the New Year. I could be detailed or I could just throw a blanket statement that covers everything. There’s something really attractive about simplicity, especially when I feel so cluttered with so many things in life right now. So yes, I’m going to make a New Year’s Resolution list this time around, but it’s going to be one that will be easy to achieve. So here goes:

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Be mindful of the present, the here and now. More often than not, walking Rex in the early mornings is a task that I want to cross off my daily list of things to do as quickly as possible. During the fall, however, I took time to enjoy the turning of the leaves from green to deep reds and vibrant golds and oranges. I enjoyed the Christmas decorations on neighbors’ lawns and trees. It was a crazy busy month of December, but I made sure to enjoy our decked-out halls by, for example, bringing the laptop down to the living room to enjoy the fire and smell the tree while I worked. It kept the spirit in me. And I want to continue that mindfulness.

Get my novel out there, in whatever form and through whatever channel in which it was meant to be. I will try just a few literary agents this time around, but when I set out to finish A Village in the Fields last year, I had already come up with a plan to get it up quickly on Amazon, per the path a few colleagues from work have taken. Stay tuned.

Keep writing, read more. I’m looking forward to resuming research for my second novel, which I had abandoned back in 2006, and doing character sketches and plot drafts. I also look forward to revisiting old short stories that wise old eyes are now looking at anew and revising them, as well as revisiting old short story ideas and perhaps resurrecting them. Most importantly, I look forward to carving out more time to read – the single thing that makes a writer better.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Write more profiles for my blog. One thing that suffered a little as work overtook me this past fall to the end of the year was not having the time to interview amazing women for my blog. I have a backlog of women to interview, and I really hope to carve out time to return to this part of my blog. Stay tuned.

Take better care of my body. I cannot ignore the creaks in the knees as I walk down the stairs in the morning or the pain in my thumb joint, which I fear is arthritis and not carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes, I am getting older and with it comes aches and pains. But if I eat right, get some sleep – let me repeat that to myself again, get more sleep – and add greater variety to my exercise routine, some of those afflictions should be alleviated. I can’t stop time or growing older, but I can impact the quality of those years and the process.

Scatter joy. On my first trip to Maine perhaps a decade ago in August, my friend, Jack, indulged my request to check out this quaint shop called Flying Pigs, at least I think that’s what the shop was called. I came across a plaque with the words “Scatter joy” that was attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson. I picked it up but put it down. Then at Christmastime that year, Jack sent the plaque to me, and it has been hanging above a door in our library for the last six years. Every once in a while I look up and remember how it came to our house, and it reminds me to do just that – scatter joy.

There is nothing more gratifying than seeing someone I care about smile or laugh or be happy because of something I said or did. It’s infectious and it makes my day. It’s easy to do. Every day. Scatter joy. Happy New Year’s Eve!

Time for a little New Year's Eve celebration!

Time for a little New Year’s Eve celebration!

The Dress at 50: now we are 1

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. If it takes a year, or sixty years, or five lifetimes, as long as we’re heading towards light, that’s all that matters.
– Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

This blouse and skirt was an Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can "scrunch." Fun.

An Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can “scrunch.” Fun.

A year ago this month, I launched The Dress at 50. My first blog post was my welcome, which I published December 8th and talked about my reasons for starting my “lifestyle” blog. In my first regular blog post, which I published a year ago yesterday, I waxed poetic about my love of vintage – in particular, a certain 1960s faux fur dress that caught my eye at Treasury, a wonderful little vintage shop in Washington, D.C.

Since then, I’ve published 151 posts, starting with a routine of posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Until recently, I reluctantly reduced my postings to Tuesdays and Fridays because I needed to spend more time with another goal of mine from last year, which was to finish my novel, A Village in the Fields. There were times when I struggled to find something to say, but more often than not, I had a lot to say and a lot to share.

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

One of the most satisfying things the blog has given me is the opportunity to profile some pretty amazing women, who have inspired me with their courage, creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and generosity. I got to interview women who started their own businesses and heeded the call to do what they loved to do. In other instances, friends introduced me to women whom they thought I would enjoy getting to know and write about, which I did. What a gift that has been! I haven’t had the chance to do more profiles because of my work and my novel, but I hope to get back to publishing at least one profile a month. My profile of local proprietor Jen Komaromi of Jenny K got the most views ever, with a big spike the day it was posted, which speaks to Jen’s tremendous reach (thanks, Jen!).

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Another thing I have enjoyed is sharing my little trips within a business trip when I travel. It’s been my hobby to find one thing in each city I visit to seek out and write about. I have been pleasantly surprised to find such gems as the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, which housed Rodin sculptures inside the museum and in an outdoor garden. I’ve met wonderful people along the way, many who have inspired me, including Carl, the proprietor of Vintage Underground in Chicago. My post “Plant a tree, have a child, write a book” continues to garner daily views, making it the most consistently viewed post.

This is not to say that I have a million followers and a million views a day. Quite the opposite! I reached 10,000 views earlier this month, of which I’m still proud. I have my loyal tribe – thank you, ladies! – despite not having the ability for people to comment, which I’m told is the death knell of blogs (oh well). I had fixed the comment issue, only to have it die on me again. I’m going to try to fix it next month (again), so stay tuned.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Topics have been varied, but I’ve tried to stay true to my motto of living the creative, meaningful, and full life. Whatever allows me to do so is fair game for a topic. I believe I was more introspective in the early months since launching the blog and less so now as a result of work and trying to finish the novel before the year is over, which has been a herculean task. Again, I hope to do more introspective posts.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), "vintage" Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), “vintage” Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interestingly enough, while I enjoy dressing up, which instills a certain level of self-confidence, I’ve been living in a “uniform” the last several months of knit pants, oversized sweatshirts, and tennis shoes because I’ve been too busy and too exhausted to think about putting on an outfit. I hope to change that routine in the New Year, as well. I’ve enjoyed putting outfits together and seeing how the ensemble looks, and sharing them on my blog. I’ve been drawn more to jewelry of late than clothes and being more deliberate when I do find a piece of clothing that catches my eye. Longevity, quality, sustainability, classic timelessness are the traits that guide me as I wander my favorite shops and new shops. I hope to share those traits in future outfits that I feature in my blog in 2014.

Honestly, there were many times when I would conduct an interview, write a post, or publish the post and think to myself, wouldn’t this be a great day job. I still think that – a part-time job to being a full-time novelist, that is. But for now, I’m content to share what inspires me, what helps me fuel my creativity, and what makes my life more meaningful. Here’s to another year of The Dress at 50. Join me on this journey!

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Three-plus decades of fashion, fun, and friendship

To reminisce with my old friends, a chance to share some memories and play our songs again.
– Ricky Nelson, American actor, musician, singer-songwriter

Susan's graduation day, June 1986. Timeless cotton dresses.

Susan’s graduation day, June 1986. Timeless cotton dresses. Number 1 song at the time: Madonna’s “Live to Tell.”

After getting together for dinner this past Sunday evening with my college roommates, Susan Rusconi and Susie Merrill, I thought it would be fun to stroll down memory lane with a pictorial tribute to 31 years of fashion, fun, and friendship. We met in the fall of 1982 at the University of California at Davis. Mostly everyone on the second floor of the Struve II dorm were transfer students from two-year community colleges, except for Susan, who was a freshman. Susie lived across from my dorm room, and Susan lived with her roommate Reeva a few doors down. After our dorm year, Susie, Susan, and Betsy, my dorm roommate, and I moved into an apartment on Adams Street. We were roommates for two years in our two-bedroom apartment. After Betsy graduated, got married, and moved back to her hometown of San Diego, Susie and I remained – we both worked on campus – while Susan finished up her senior year, and we replaced Betsy with a graduate student roommate.

July 1986: A 100-plus day in Davis on campus, saying goodbye as we clean out the apartment and move on to the next phase of our lives. Timeless tanks and shorts. Blue is one of our favorite colors.

July 1986: A 100-plus day in Davis on campus, saying goodbye before we move on to the next phase of our lives. Timeless tanks and shorts. Blue is one of our favorite colors. Number 1 song at the time: Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer.”

After Susan graduated, Susie went to Yale for graduate school in epidemiology, I did two years of volunteer work in Alaska and San Francisco for the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. and then attended the creative writing program at Syracuse University, and Susan plunged into the burgeoning world of high-tech in Silicon Valley and eventually got her MBA from Santa Clara University. Through the years, we have kept our friendship alive and gotten together, thanks to all three of us living in the San Francisco Bay Area. Here is to 31 years and more of friendship, with a fun look at fashion and hairstyles of the 1980s, 1990s, up to the present.

July 1986: Cookies and cream drinks, TGIFriday in Sacramento, and another photo with a waiter. Our line to waiters: "You have expressive hands." It works every time for a reaction. Pastels, blues, florals. and stripes.

July 1986: Cookies and cream drinks, TGIFriday in Sacramento, and another photo with a waiter. Our line to waiters: “You have expressive hands.” It works every time for a reaction. Pastels, blues, florals. and stripes. Popular song in July: Genesis’s “Invisible Touch.”

Summer 1987 at Susie's parents' home in Santa Rosa.

Summer 1987 at Susie’s parents’ home in Santa Rosa. Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” was a top hit at this time.

Christmas 1987: Jewel-tone or colorful sweaters. My uni: cardigans, soft blouses, and floral skirts.

Christmas 1987: Jewel-tone or colorful sweaters. My uni: cardigans, soft blouses, and floral skirts. George Michaels’ “Faith” is top of the charts.

Circa 1990 at El Torito with our token waiter.

Circa 1990 at El Torito with our token waiter.

Summer 1990: Belts, bold prints, and fun masks. Wilson Philips' "Hold On" was hot in June.

Summer 1990 in San Francisco: Belts, bold prints, and fun masks. Wilson Philips’ “Hold On” was hot in June.

October 1991: Bridesmaids' dresses are shimmery burgundy, earrings and dresses by Susie, seamstress extraordinaire. Mariah Carey's "Emotions" was the hit song of the month, although I don't recall it.

October 1991 in San Francisco: Bridesmaids’ dresses are shimmery burgundy, earrings and dresses by Susie, seamstress extraordinaire.

1992: Graduate school sweatshirts. My weekend uni in XL. Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" was tops.

1992 in San Francisco: Graduate school sweatshirts. My weekend uni in XL. Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” was tops.

Reprisal at Susie's parents' porch, 1993: pastels and scarves.

Reprisal at Susie’s parents’ porch, 1993: pastels and scarves.

A tradition of Christmas high tea at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, 1996. More scarves, blue, and black.

A tradition of Christmas high tea at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, 1996. More scarves, blue, and black.

September 1998: Simple yet elegant navy bridesmaid dresses.

September 1998: Simple yet elegant navy bridesmaid dresses by Susie.

October 2001, Palace Hotel high tea birthday celebration for Susie: Black and blue wardrobe again!

October 2001, Palace Hotel high tea birthday celebration for Susie: Black and blue wardrobe again against a beautiful autumn bouquet.

October 2013: The secret to staying young at heart: family, friends, and lots of love and joy to share.

October 2013: The secret to staying young at heart: family, friends, and boundless love and joy to share.

October 2013: Ageless!

October 2013: Timeless and ageless, thanks to 31 years of friendship. Here’s to the next half….

 Nurture your friendships and be thankful.

Appropriate at any age: summer and shorts

Women may be the one group that grows more radical with age.
– Gloria Steinem, American feminist, journalist, and social and political activist

Matching jacket and shorts in cream and green lace work well with a shirred burnt orange blouse.

Matching jacket and shorts in cream and green lace work well with a shirred burnt orange blouse.

In the past year I’ve read articles about what women of a certain age should not be wearing. One in particular, which I did not save and therefore cannot link to the primary source, quoted an older woman well-respected in the fashion industry – I think she is an influential style maker – proclaimed that older women should not wear shorts. Period. End. of. Discussion. While there are always trends to either follow or break, I firmly believe that comfort comes first.

Imagine you are at a baseball tournament and it is 100-plus degrees in the shade. If you want to wear shorts, you should wear shorts. If you don’t feel comfortable in shorts, that’s fine, but you shouldn’t not wear them just because some fashion rule says you can’t do it after a certain age. In the wintertime, it’s easy to do. When you wear opaque tights and boots, you eliminate the fear of exposing flesh. How do you get around that in the summertime?

A statement necklace and ring are all you need.

A statement necklace and ring are all you need with so much lace.

Bermuda shorts help solve the problem. Inseams three inches or greater are also less intimidating to wear. I don’t actively shop for shorts, but in the past I have come across a pair that is unique either in fabric, texture, or style. Sometimes the inseam is shorter than I’d like, but I overcome that by getting the next size up and letting it sit lower on my waist.

Texture, texture, and more texture: This J. Crew statement necklace reminds me of Miriam Haskell of the 1940s. Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA) and Sundance rings.

Texture, texture, and more texture: This J. Crew statement necklace reminds me of Miriam Haskell of the 1940s. Lava 9 statement ring (Berkeley, CA) and Sundance rings.

If you’re worried about dreaded exposure of veins, creams from beauty shops can blot out the offending purple and blue lines. Or you can go au natural and everyone else be damned. The point is that there are few small things that you can do to get rid of some of the issues and raise your comfort level for wearing shorts in the summertime.

My vintage 1992 Talbots equestrian-inspired crossbody bag is the perfect accessory for this shorts outfit.

My vintage 1992 Talbots equestrian-inspired crossbody bag is the perfect accessory for this shorts outfit.

For me, the bottom line is a combination of comfort and confidence. Make sure the shorts fit and you can walk and sit with ease. Go about your business and forget that you’re even wearing shorts – unless it’s super hot and you’re glad you wore shorts! Stand tall and walk confidently. Any woman can pull of shorts. After all, we are a radical group.

A retro outfit in bright fuchsia and yellow, with brass jewelry and nude strappy sandals.

A retro outfit in bright fuchsia and yellow, with brass jewelry and nude strappy sandals.

Simple accessories are best when the patterns and colors of your outfit are loud: Sundance cuff and rings, Anthropologie wide ring, and Laura Lombardi reclaimed brass necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

Simple accessories are best when the patterns and colors of your outfit are loud: Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Sundance cuff and rings, Anthropologie wide ring, and Laura Lombardi reclaimed brass necklace (Eskell, Chicago).

Appropriate at Any Age: Removing “age” in “age appropriate”

You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.  – Coco Chanel, French fashion designer

These waxed shorts sit lower on the waist to lengthen the inseam. Chocolate opaque tights and booties lengthen the leg, and the dark-colored sweater jacket lengthens the entire frame. Add a touch of faux fur and vintage purse and you're ready to go.

These waxed shorts sit lower on the waist to lengthen the inseam. Chocolate opaque tights and booties lengthen the leg, and the dark-colored sweater jacket lengthens the entire frame. Add a touch of faux fur and vintage purse and you’re ready to go.

In the last year or so, I’ve come across a fistful of articles in women’s and fashion magazines that expound on what a woman of a certain age should or shouldn’t wear. One author said she had been told that women over 30 shouldn’t wear leather jackets anymore. Another article smugly noted that while older women are donning clothing items once deemed the domain of the younger woman, young women can triumphantly pull on shorts, with the knowledge that they are leaving the older women – their mothers – in the dust. Every time I read one of those articles, I got unnecessarily exasperated. I soon realized this was a waste of energy. I then calmed down and recalled a famous Coco Chanel quote: “I don’t care what you think about me; I don’t think about you at all.”

Is there such a thing as age appropriate? Should there be such a thing as age appropriateness? I would rather we remove the word “age” from the concept of age appropriate. Let’s talk about what is appropriate. Take those shorts, for example. Now make them “Daisy Duke” shorts, the kind in which the inseam length is a negative number. Maybe a handful of women would look good in them, but I’m certain I don’t want to see anyone’s cheeks hanging out, save for the ones on their faces.

Jean shorts and black opaque tights create a classic look. Keep it simple with black embellished t-shirt, belt, and leather jacket. But give it an edge with a red bag and studded booties.

Jean shorts and black opaque tights create a classic look. Keep it simple with black embellished t-shirt, belt, and leather jacket. But give it an edge with a red bag and studded booties.

I will submit that not all women – regardless of age – can wear shorts and feel comfortable in them. I grew up in the Central Valley of California, where the temperatures would remain in the 90s (degrees) late into the evening, but I would not wear shorts to school or to any social outing as a teenager because I was too self-conscious and felt exposed in shorts. Painfully shy, I deemed it a triumph when I finally felt comfortable enough to wear shorts in college. The operative word is comfortable and its subtext is confidence.

Vegan leather and Frye boots are softened by a creamy lace blouse and tights.

Vegan leather and Frye boots are softened by a creamy lace blouse and tights.

I submit that a lot of women of my age can wear shorts smartly and successfully – and appropriately. First of all, I don’t wear shorts to “look” or “feel” young. I wear shorts because I like a particular pair of shorts or like the look of it as part of an outfit, an ensemble. This is a very important point. I have my rules of thumb, though don’t think of them as rigid rules. Think of them as comfort levels. No matter what the style, they should fit – not tight or not baggy when they’re not supposed to be baggy. I don’t wear short-shorts. Inseam length is critical. While a three-inch inseam seems itty-bitty, it’s not so bad – if you really like the style, fabric, and/or print – to size up and let the waistband sit low. In the wintertime, you can wear opaque tights and look appropriate and sharp. If you feel the need to cover up and work your way up to a certain comfort level, wear boots. Regardless of comfort level, however, shorts and boots go hand in hand in cold weather.

Mixing vintage Miriam Haskell pearl necklace, reclaimed vintage bow necklace from Gorgeous and Green (Berkeley, CA), Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage earrings, beloved bumble bee bracelet purchased in Philadelphia, and chunky ring from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA).

Mixing vintage Miriam Haskell pearl necklace, reclaimed vintage bow necklace from Gorgeous and Green (Berkeley, CA), Carmela Rose reclaimed vintage earrings, beloved bumble bee bracelet purchased in Philadelphia, and chunky ring from Lava 9 (Berkeley, CA).

The only time I don’t wear tights with shorts is when it’s super casual and I’m at home or at a sporting event. In the Bay Area, our summers are famously cool and foggy most of the time, so you can get away with tights and shorts across seasons. In the summertime, I wear shorts with flats or wedges or platforms, but never with heels, especially spiky heels. That’s where my comfort level ebbs. While shorts oftentimes conveys casual and informal, I like dressing up shorts, as a style statement but also for its ability to lend a sense of sharpness.

Suede jacket, flowery blouse, pop of color in the yellow belt, and neutral tights and booties for spring.

Suede jacket, flowery blouse, pop of color in the yellow belt, and neutral tights and booties for spring.

Fashion should be fun and experimental. With shorts, you need to figure out what style looks good on you, which fabrics and prints flatter your shape, and what kind of a look you are trying to convey. And then let loose and experiment with what goes on top, what shoes are a good match, what accessories compliment and make the whole outfit cohesive yet effortless. Think of shorts as part of the overall outfit. It makes them less intimidating and really, part of the fashion canvas. So be artistic, creative, comfortable, and confident in whatever you wear.

Mix faux fur and full lace shorts in monochromatic colors.

Mix faux fur and full lace shorts in monochromatic colors.

Reclaimed vintage gold jewelry looks natural against tan silk and creamy mottled faux fur.

Reclaimed vintage gold jewelry looks natural against tan silk and creamy mottled faux fur.

Welcome spring in navy shorts, pastel sweater, navy hose, and Frye covered-toe sandals.

Welcome spring in navy shorts, pastel sweater, navy hose, and Frye covered-toe sandals.