Looking forward to 2014

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
– T.S. Eliot, poet, dramatist, and literary critic, from Four Quartets

When I was in elementary school, my sister gave me a diary for Christmas one year. I had previously used a notebook and binder paper to record what happened or what I did on days that were worthy of recording. But once I got a real diary, I was spoiled and for several years afterwards I would get a new diary for each year. Soon my entries evolved from one-liners of what I ate or who came to visit to events that made me happy or sad followed by an analysis of why I was happy or sad. I created a tradition in which at the end of the year I would reflect and read what happened that year. I would write about what was memorable and what I learned. And then I would focus on my hopes and dreams for the following year.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

A timeless LBD that reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Art Deco.

I’ve since abandoned writing a daily diary. I rely on the e-mails that I send to friends as a record of what happened and what I was going through internally. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions anymore, either. Or at least I don’t formalize them, write them down, and take assessment after a certain period of time has passed in the new year. When I write my holiday e-greeting letter, I do take stock of what I and my family did for the year, and at least in my head I reflect on the year and what goals I had set for myself that were achieved and what goals are yet to be met.

I think about what the New Year promises and what I want to do in the New Year. I could be detailed or I could just throw a blanket statement that covers everything. There’s something really attractive about simplicity, especially when I feel so cluttered with so many things in life right now. So yes, I’m going to make a New Year’s Resolution list this time around, but it’s going to be one that will be easy to achieve. So here goes:

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Laura Lombardi necklace (Eskell, Chicago) and Abacus earrings (Portland, ME).

Be mindful of the present, the here and now. More often than not, walking Rex in the early mornings is a task that I want to cross off my daily list of things to do as quickly as possible. During the fall, however, I took time to enjoy the turning of the leaves from green to deep reds and vibrant golds and oranges. I enjoyed the Christmas decorations on neighbors’ lawns and trees. It was a crazy busy month of December, but I made sure to enjoy our decked-out halls by, for example, bringing the laptop down to the living room to enjoy the fire and smell the tree while I worked. It kept the spirit in me. And I want to continue that mindfulness.

Get my novel out there, in whatever form and through whatever channel in which it was meant to be. I will try just a few literary agents this time around, but when I set out to finish A Village in the Fields last year, I had already come up with a plan to get it up quickly on Amazon, per the path a few colleagues from work have taken. Stay tuned.

Keep writing, read more. I’m looking forward to resuming research for my second novel, which I had abandoned back in 2006, and doing character sketches and plot drafts. I also look forward to revisiting old short stories that wise old eyes are now looking at anew and revising them, as well as revisiting old short story ideas and perhaps resurrecting them. Most importantly, I look forward to carving out more time to read – the single thing that makes a writer better.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Textures in the form of faux fur and velveteen, and gold accents.

Write more profiles for my blog. One thing that suffered a little as work overtook me this past fall to the end of the year was not having the time to interview amazing women for my blog. I have a backlog of women to interview, and I really hope to carve out time to return to this part of my blog. Stay tuned.

Take better care of my body. I cannot ignore the creaks in the knees as I walk down the stairs in the morning or the pain in my thumb joint, which I fear is arthritis and not carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes, I am getting older and with it comes aches and pains. But if I eat right, get some sleep – let me repeat that to myself again, get more sleep – and add greater variety to my exercise routine, some of those afflictions should be alleviated. I can’t stop time or growing older, but I can impact the quality of those years and the process.

Scatter joy. On my first trip to Maine perhaps a decade ago in August, my friend, Jack, indulged my request to check out this quaint shop called Flying Pigs, at least I think that’s what the shop was called. I came across a plaque with the words “Scatter joy” that was attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson. I picked it up but put it down. Then at Christmastime that year, Jack sent the plaque to me, and it has been hanging above a door in our library for the last six years. Every once in a while I look up and remember how it came to our house, and it reminds me to do just that – scatter joy.

There is nothing more gratifying than seeing someone I care about smile or laugh or be happy because of something I said or did. It’s infectious and it makes my day. It’s easy to do. Every day. Scatter joy. Happy New Year’s Eve!

Time for a little New Year's Eve celebration!

Time for a little New Year’s Eve celebration!

A Village in the Fields: The novel is done

One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.
– Jack Kerouac, American writer, poet, and artist, from The Dharma Bums

Musings on finishing and on the process
Although I have completed a handful of major revisions of my first novel, A Village in the Fields, which I had begun in May of 1997, as I headed toward the finish line with this final revision, I wondered what feelings would come over me. Would I be relieved because I feared my interest and energies were waning? Sad that something that has been with me for more than 16 years would finally be coming to a close? Or empty, having completely given everything – the shirt off my back, my last pulsing emotion – over to the whole of the novel, to the final scene, the last word? It is all of the above.

A reason to go out and celebrate.

A reason to go out and celebrate.

I think about all that has happened these last 16-plus years – getting engaged on a trip to Italy and marrying, home remodeling, giving birth and raising two children, undergoing a major house remodel and addition, enduring numerous job changes, immersing myself in public school battles and volunteering at the schools, losing Bailey, and losing and letting go of my mother. All of these events have helped to shape the novel as it moved along its journey of 1,000 pages to 600 pages to its “slimmed down” current 444 pages, which included the loss of a major character and the methodical approach to resolving literary issues.

During a break this past year, I took out the folder I had kept of the many – but not all 60 – rejections from literary agents that I had received from the end of 2005 to the beginning of 2006. With each rejection that I got in the mail, I sank deeper in my despondency and self-doubt. I put the manuscript away. I stopped reading. I stopped writing. I did other things. It was not hard to be immersed in other things, especially when you have young children. I thought about it every once in a while, but I was too wounded to do anything but think about all that effort and time that I had invested and yet easily cast aside.

Fluffy faux fur capelet and clutch on pale pink and cream.

Fluffy faux fur capelet and clutch on pale pink and cream.

At some point, though, I went back to the manuscript. My good friend, Kathy Brackett Verschoor, had written to me, asking if I had met up again with my main character, Fausto Empleo. She was missing him, she told me, and longed to reconnect with him. And so it was that I was missing him, too. I yearned to finish his story, his life. The writer inside me wanted to reemerge. Could I do it again? This time there would be no expectations. I just wanted to do him justice. I wanted to tell his story. And so in 2010 I reopened my files and ever-so-slowly re-acquainted myself with Fausto and together we got back on the road again.
As I wordsmithed the last pages and printed out the last chapter, I thought about what it meant to me to have finally finished the novel. I started it two years after my father passed away. I had wanted to give him something I had written and published, but at the time I only had one published story to my name. My father, with his second-grade education, had asked me how to spell words when he sat down to write letters to his relatives in the Philippines. When I had won a literary prize at UC Davis as a senior in the English Department, he cut out the article about it from our local newspaper and kept it in his suitcase of documents under his bed. I found it when we were going through his personal belongings after he had passed away. Well, I told myself ruefully, whenever I would get around to writing a novel, I would dedicate it to his memory.

Texture, texture

Texture, texture

I also wanted to hand a published novel to my mother. She was very excited when I went away to Syracuse University for my graduate studies, but she thought I was going to teach English at the college level, which was never my plan. So when she told me about a teaching position at Modesto Junior College my last semester at Syracuse and I told her I didn’t want to teach, after a lengthy long-distance pause, she asked me why then was I there in the first place? I immediately answered: I want to write. She didn’t understand. She read the Reader’s Digest, the National Enquirer, Women’s Day. She had no time for fiction. After she passed away, and my sisters and I were cleaning out her bedroom, I looked for clues as to how she viewed me. I found a half-written letter to her cousin, Noli. When she wrote of me, it was to say that I was working hard as usual and mentioned the kids. That, I deduced, was what she thought of me, always working, which was true, and taking care of the kids, which was also true. That was my world, nothing more, nothing less.

Carmela Rose earrings and vintage Weiss aurora borealis brooch.

Carmela Rose earrings and vintage Weiss aurora borealis brooch.

I can’t help but think what she would have written had she had a book I had published sitting on her nightstand. Maybe she would have read it, maybe she wouldn’t have. Maybe it would have been tangible proof that validated my time in graduate school in her eyes. I can ponder all I want; the truth is I can’t change or fix what did or didn’t happen. But after she passed away, a literary fire was lit. And I vowed that I would finish it in 2012. I was already working on it in 2010 – ploddingly – and then in 2011 her illness stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t finish it in 2012 because of lack of time and energy, though I slowly worked my way through 2012 and into 2013. As I put the last chapter in the folder and then into its box the other evening, I thought to myself that in its current state it would have been good enough for me to give it to her like that. If she were still alive.

Sometimes we may not understand why things happen, or why things happen at a particular time in our lives. In our humble human state, we may try to work it all out in our heads and in our hearts because we need that order amid the chaos. I’m reminded of an essay by William Paley, “The Watch and the Human Eye,” from my old college philosophy textbook, A Modern Introduction to Philosophy, which made an impression on me back in 1981: “There cannot be design without a designer; contrivance, without a contriver; order, without choice; arrangement, without anything capable of arranging; subserviency and relation to a purpose, without that which could intend a purpose; means suitable to an end, and executing their office in accomplishing that end, without the end ever having been contemplated, or the means accommodated to it.”

Gorgeous vintage Weiss brooch amid the fluff.

Gorgeous vintage Weiss brooch amid the fluff.

For me, once I understand and accept, I am done with the mourning or the self-pity or the denial, and I get up and determine what to do next. I wanted to go back to the novel because that is what I feel is my gift to nurture, to hone, and then to share. Having a gift does not mean it is ready to share. I didn’t realize it back then. I had to work even harder. And so I did.

The phrase, “in writing, you must kill all your darlings,” has been attributed to various writers, but I’ll hang my hat on William Faulkner as the author. I slashed and burned. I had to be convinced that one of my major protagonists was a drag on the narrative, which took a few years to be convinced – by my good friend, Jack, and David. I didn’t know how to write a novel when I first started out. I just kept going, guided by my historical research, but nonetheless blindly. I knew the beginning and the ending, but not the middle. So the major protagonist was deleted. Chunks of writing were deleted, with alacrity and without remorse. Every word was agonized over, wordsmithed again and again. I came to enjoy this whole process. Careful with the hammer and chisel in hands that were growing more assured with each day, trying to find the shape, the body.

Close-up: Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings, J. Crew glass bracelet, Carmela Rose earrings, and vintage Weiss brooch.

Outfit close-up: Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings, J. Crew glass bracelet, Carmela Rose earrings, and vintage Weiss brooch against a backdrop of neutral lace and fluffy, soft-as-a-cloud faux fur.

I came to accept that it took time I did not have. While I was despondent that I did not have the chunk of time I needed to fully focus on it, I found it in little bits and pieces. And that was good enough. A week of vacation here, a long weekend there. Stay focused. There will be a moment, I told myself, when I will hit “save” and I know that I am done. Older, wiser, better for the years that have gone by and for the experiences – both joyful and mournful – that somehow are in those pages.

I raise a glass of wine, happy for the moment. Fittingly, the end of 2013, the end of one journey. I know it has another, more difficult, journey to make in 2014. This time, however, I’m not apprehensive. It will find its way in the world, which has changed so much in the last eight years. And I will return to the second novel I had begun while I was waiting for the first novel to find its home. While I don’t profess to know how to write a novel now, I have a more formed idea. I don’t expect it will take another 16 years. I have more confidence and faith in myself. I know to be true to my heart and to find a way when there is no path before me.

One last excerpt from the novel:

Fausto walked out of his room and into the courtyard, with Rogelio beside him, Rogelio’s hand resting on his back. The sun branded his head and shoulders the moment they passed the shade of the oak tree. Heat seeped through the weave of his cotton shirt and into his skin like a menthol ointment. The hundred-degree temperature would have sapped him, but he felt refreshed, sharing silence in the open spaces.

They walked in a wide arc in the cleared field. Rogelio marveled at the hardiness of the plants and weeds that took root in the sandy soil. It made Fausto look at the land with appreciative eyes, although dust dulled everything in their path—the once-shiny leaves of nutsedge and the patches of yellow-flowered sow-thistle. Dust tipped the starry seed heads of Bermuda grass. It heathered the spear-shaped oleander leaves. Pink and white oleander blooms drooped, although their almond scent simmered in the heat.

Rogelio steered Fausto toward the building. “Let’s get some water and go back to your room. I don’t want you to get heat stroke.” But it was Rogelio who was wilting. He blotted his face with Fausto’s handkerchief, but fine beads of perspiration kept forming on his upper lip. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Fausto gazed at the tips of the cypress trees above the tiled roof. He wanted to put a hand over his heart—it was racing again—yet he didn’t want Rogelio to worry or the day to end. But now that he was done talking, he felt empty. Although he was grateful to be with Rogelio, he was still waiting.

Onward to 2014, to the next journey with confidence.

Onward to 2014, to the next journey with confidence.

Celebrating philanthropy: Giving Tuesday, giving every day

It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.
– Mother Teresa, Albanian Roman Catholic nun, humanitarian, and Nobel Peace Prize recipient for 1979

Getting ready to celebrate giving!

Getting ready to celebrate giving!

I missed giving a shout-out for Giving Tuesday on its actual day this year, which was December 3rd. Giving Tuesday, in response to Black Friday and Cyber Monday, was the brainchild of Henry Timms, interim executive director of 92nd Street Y in New York City, who created and wanted to promote a day of “personal philanthropy” on the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving.

“The driving spirit of this season is about generosity and giving thanks,” said Timms. “Giving Tuesday is a celebration of all forms of giving.” This year, more than 7,000 nonprofits around the country were slated to have participated in the growing movement through myriad activities, including volunteerism, grant matching, year-end donations, and support for specific projects.

Okay, now we're ready to celebrate with a fit-and-flare Tracy Reese paisley embroidered dress.

Okay, now we’re ready to celebrate with a fit-and-flare Tracy Reese paisley embroidered dress.

I love the idea of Giving Tuesday! I love the idea of celebrating philanthropy during this time of consumerism. Since I missed highlighting Giving Tuesday on its appointed day, I’m advocating for picking any day this holiday season and giving back. Make a tradition out of it. For the last few years, our family has collected the various solicitations that come in the mail for the holiday season and on an appointed evening, we each pick one nonprofit organization to make a donation. We talk about the different types of organizations – environmental, animal, political, social justice, and so on – and we group the solicitations accordingly to make the process more manageable and less overwhelming. We talk about why we have chosen a particular organization. There are a lot of worthy causes out there, but here are our selections for this holiday season.

The Milo Foundation: “Please don’t buy, don’t breed – adopt!”
My first encounter with the Milo Foundation (P.O. Box 6625, Albany, CA 94706, 510.542.0897) was when the nonprofit domestic animal sanctuary used to come to the Fourth Street shopping area in Berkeley and adopt out cats and dogs. In 1999, David and I fell in love with “Iggy,” a little black puppy who had been abused and abandoned, along with her sister, in Berkeley. Iggy had kennel cough but survived, and she came home with us. We renamed her Bailey, and she was a part of our family until she passed away on our watch of old age 12 years later. In memory of Bailey and to show our love for our first family dog, Isabella, who loves dogs and considers herself “part dog,” chose the Milo Foundation to support.

Bailey at rest - her usual state of being.

Beloved Bailey

The Milo Foundation is a “nonprofit, no-kill organization that provides an alternative for homeless dogs and cats throughout Northern California through education, adoption services, and a sanctuary for animals until permanent homes can be found.” Its mission is to “rescue adoptable at-risk animals, match them to homes best suited to provide lifetime care, rehabilitate those who need it, offer sanctuary to those who are not placed, and educate the public about responsible pet guardianship, including spay/neuter.” This one’s for you, Bailey, with soft floppy ears, whom we still miss dearly.

World Wildlife Fund: “A Better way to give…for our planet’s future”
The kids have always liked the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) (1250 24th Avenue, N.W., Washington, DC 20037, 202.293,4800). It doesn’t hurt that the global conservation organization has a catalog of species that are classified [per the International Union for Conservation of Nature] as endangered, extinct, extinct in the wild, critically endangered, vulnerable, near threatened, and least concern that you can “adopt.” In return for a donation, you get a plush animal. We have “adopted” many endangered animals and the kids have plush animals such as the pygmy elephant and snowy owl as proof. Jacob could not escape the allure of yet another plush animal, though he tells me that first and foremost he wants to help endangered animals. This year he chose to help the “critically endangered” Sumatran rhino, which is the smallest of the living rhinos and the only Asian rhino with two horns.

Sumatran rhino (WWF).

Sumatran rhino (WWF).

I have to say that what I appreciated from this year’s catalog was President and CEO Carter S. Roberts’ introduction: “Dear Friend, For all the rigorous science we practice at WWF and all the innovative ideas we execute, one of the most effective conservation tools at our disposal is also one of the simplest: storytelling. Because perhaps nothing conveys the exquisite splendor and inherent value of the species and landscapes we cherish and work so hard to protect, with the support of friends like you quite as powerfully as a story.

“Stories can transport us to a place we’ve never seen, and inspire us to help save them. Stories can introduce us to a fisherman we’ll never meet, but whose way of life we’ll want to help sustain. And stories connect us. The world doesn’t seem so huge and overwhelming, and the problems we seek to tackle so insurmountable, when we can share our experiences and find common ground.” A beautiful message, beautifully written. Amen.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Sundance bracelet, and Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings and three-strand necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), Sundance bracelet, and Kate Peterson Designs stack of rings and three-strand necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

Bay Area Rescue Mission: “Changing lives for a brighter tomorrow”
David’s philanthropic philosophy, if you will, is to support local agencies. He is also supportive of agencies that address homelessness, poverty, and hunger. Bay Area Rescue Mission (2114 Macdonald 94801, 510.215.4555) was founded in 1965 in an old hotel in Richmond, CA, the next town over from El Cerrito, to provide emergency shelter and meals to homeless people. It has expanded its services through the years to include recovery program, transitional living, job-skills training, food pantry, mobile outreach, and youth outreach. We have donated to them in the past, long before we formalized our family tradition. This year, David wanted to continue to support this agency, which is an important community resource in Richmond.

Metallic bronze pump completes this ensemble.

Metallic bronze pump completes this ensemble.

Community Alliance for Learning (WriterCoach Connection)
When my son entered Portola Middle School as a seventh grader, I first learned about WriterCoach Connection, a program run by the Community Alliance for Learning (1191 Solano Avenue, #6098, Albany, CA 94706, 510.524.2319). The program was modeled after a successful writer-coach initiative on the East Coast and first implemented at Berkeley High School in February 2001. Its success led to the expansion of the program to Albany middle and high schools, Berkeley middle schools, Oakland high schools, and El Cerrito High School and Portola Middle School – all in the East Bay.

Celebrate philanthropy in style!

Celebrate philanthropy in style!

Trained community volunteers work with students on an individual basis for one hour per week. The testimonials are tremendous and inspirational. English teachers see vast improvement in their students who were previously getting low grades or not turning in their work. Students are getting the support they need and are motivated to become better writers, critical thinkers, and confident communicators. While Jacob didn’t require WCC resources, I’m a firm believer in supporting all aspects of the school community because that only strengthens the school overall.

My time is limited and to be honest I’m not a great tutor, as my kids will tell you, which is why homework duty falls on David’s shoulders. So I choose to support this incredibly important program with a modest donation. If you have the time and like to tutor, WCC would certainly appreciate your support as a community volunteer.

However you choose to give – be it through volunteering or donating or a simple act as offering a hug – give with your whole heart. To do so is an act of generosity of staggering proportions.

Beautiful blues and greens and golds.

Beautiful blues and greens and golds.

StoryCorps: Everyone has a story that needs to be told – and recorded

I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.
Stephen King, American author, from On Writing

When my family and I went to the Contemporary Jewish Museum (CJM) (736 Mission Street, 94103, 415.655.7800) in San Francisco for the first time in January, I discovered that it housed a StoryCorps recording studio. I’ve listened to a number of StoryCorps stories on National Public Radio (NPR) through the years, though not as much as I would have liked. Right outside the boxy, industrial hut of a studio, a grouping of ottoman-style chairs invited people to sit and watch animations on a flat-screen TV. The loop of recorded stories included one of the more famous stories – about the couple, Danny and Annie Perasa from Brooklyn and their remarkable love for one another that lasted decades, right up to his passing from cancer. As I quietly sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks, an older man walked by and commented, “It gets people all the time.” And people’s lives are enriched by such stories.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

Sharing our stories with Geraldine, our guide, at the StoryCorps recording studio in San Francisco.

After we left CJM, I vowed to talk to my sisters and see if they would be interested in recording memories of our parents as a way of honoring them and preserving our family history. My middle sister declined, which came as no surprise to me she is a private person. My oldest sister Heidi was excited to participate. Now it was a matter of logistics, as she lived in San Antonio. When she booked her flight for the Christmas holidays months ago, I booked our appointment for StoryCorps.

About StoryCorps
StoryCorps was founded in 2003 by radio producer Dave Isay, with the idea that “everyone has an important story to tell.” One of the largest oral history projects of its kind, StoryCorps, to date, has recorded more than 51,585 interviews. More than 90,440 people have shared their stories. Nearly 35,000 hours of audio have been recorded since 2003. Storytellers are given a free CD of the recording to share as widely as they wish. The recording is then sent to the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress for posterity. Approximately 1 in 200 recordings are edited down to a few minutes and broadcast to millions on the Morning Edition of NPR. Currently, there are three storybooths Atlanta, Chicago (we saw the signs when we were there this past June), and San Francisco. A mobile recording studio also travels across the country capturing people’s stories, reaching more than 1,700 cities and towns to date.

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

Dress comfortably for your interview: Chambray on dark rinse denim with black boots and a vintage carpetbag-style handbag (Secondi, Washington, D.C.).

StoryCorps has grown to offer special programs and initiatives. Since 2005, StoryCorps and the National September 11 Memorial & Museum have partnered with the goal of recording at least one story to honor each life that was lost in the September 11, 2001, and February 26, 1993, attacks through its September 11th initiative. StoryCorpsU is an educational, year-long, youth development program for students at high-needs high schools, dedicated to developing students’ identity and social intelligence through the use of StoryCorps broadcasts and animated shorts.

The Military Voices Initiative honors our veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan by recording and sharing their stories. The 18-month National Teachers Initiative honored the stories of public school teachers across the country. Latinos’ stories are preserved, thanks to the Historias Initiative, and The Griot Initiative preserves the rich stories of African-Americans. People with serious illnesses and their families have an opportunity to share their stories through the StoryCorps Legacy. Organizations have worked with StoryCorps on the Memory Loss Initiative, which seeks to preserve the stories of people who have a range of memory loss. And finally, The Alaska Initiative was a six-month program in 2008 and into 2009 that recorded the diverse lives of people living in Alaska.

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance stack of rings, BCBGMaxAzria resin ring, and reclaimed vintage rosary and bone necklace (Feathers, Austin, TX).

Preparing for our storytelling
I had notions of spending a lot of time thinking about what we would say, how we would say it, and how to organize and put our memories in a neat narrative. But, as one friend once told me years ago, “life happens.” Work, school and its extracurricular activities, kid sports, blogging, novel, and the dreary demands of housekeeping sucked up my life as it if were air.

And then suddenly it was a few weeks before Heidi was to fly into the Bay Area. We traded e-mails, disagreed on what specific memories to share. Heidi went onsite and pulled up lists of questions that are meant to draw out one’s stories. We needed to read how this would all play out. You are booked for an hour in the recording booth. After filling out a form, you are introduced to a guide who preps you and monitors the recording. Geraldine was our wonderful guide who put us at ease, as we were quite nervous going into the session and especially once we sat down at this small table and stared at one another with two sets of microphones intruding. At some point during the recording, I thought to myself, as Geraldine took notes for key searchable words, what a wonderful experience this was for her and all the other guides  to hear amazing stories (that’s the writer in me!) and to come away inspired and richer with every experience shared.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

Mixing old and new for the holidays: Burnt orange velveteen jacket from J. Crew years ago, lace blouse and turquoise embroidered skirt.

What we talked about when we talked about our parents
The 40 minutes we were allotted for our free-flowing dialogue went by quickly. There were certain things we wanted to cover. What our strongest memories were of our mom and dad. Dad and his garden. Mom and her steadfast desire to ensure that we lived and prospered under the American Dream through her hard work of picking grapes during the summers and packing oranges in the wintertime. We talked about learning of Dad’s post-traumatic stress syndrome after he had passed away, when our uncle said that he was a happy-go-lucky guy until WWII. Heidi had revealed, for the first time to me, that he had once told her he had seen and done things he didn’t want to talk about again. When our uncle told us about his condition, it explained so much about his eccentric behavior all our lives. We talked about losing Dad on Christmas night in 1995 and the tense Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays in 2011 when Mom was in the ICU for two weeks and then the acute-care facility for five weeks.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Laura Lombardi necklace, vintage cameo pin from EBay, Carmela Rose earrings, vintage walnut sewing kit circa 1930s (Treasury, Washington, D.C.), and Sundance rings.

Our voices wavered, we cried. Yes, we laughed, too. And yes, it became a part of us. We remembered things differently. We talked as if we were 10 and 13  siblings acting like siblings even at 51 and 54, which is just a fact of nature and family. And then our time was up! Geraldine took our picture and more information. We made donations, had our picture taken with Geraldine, were given a book By Dave Isay of a collection of recorded stories. And then we said goodbye to StoryCorps’ San Francisco home of the last five years.

Your turn
Heidi noticed that the information board behind the counter announced that the StoryCorps recording studio would be closing December 13th, the very next day. We realized just how lucky we were to have made the appointment for that particular day, the evening after Heidi had arrived in town. We were told that StoryCorps would be making an announcement soon to let everyone know where the new location would be and that its new home would remain in San Francisco. That was a relief to hear! So I am letting you all know, my local friends and acquaintances, to book an appointment once the recording studio is set up. We are lucky to have a permanent studio in the Bay Area. Take advantage of its existence, its proximity. For far-flung family, friends, and acquaintances, if you are not near the other recording booths, find out where the mobile booth is headed.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

Textures and colors: Burnt orange, turquoise, lace, velveteen, embroidery.

We all have stories to tell. We have memories and people family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to remember and honor, to make alive again through our words, through our voices. Storytelling is one of the things that I believe makes us human. We have such a rich oral history already, but to have our stories shared with each other at that moment in time, in that tiny booth with microphones and stacks of equipment seen out the corner of our eyes, and for many others to hear later and forever, that is an opportunity and a gift. Come together with family members or friends and record your story. I truly believe everyone should record his or her story for us all to hear. For when we steal away from our busy lives and quietly listen to these stories, our humanity grows evermore. And we find that our community expands to the ends of the earth.

“Tell your story, pass it on.”

The Dress at 50: now we are 1

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. If it takes a year, or sixty years, or five lifetimes, as long as we’re heading towards light, that’s all that matters.
– Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

This blouse and skirt was an Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can "scrunch." Fun.

An Anthropologie combo from a few years back. Still timeless: sheer silk printed blouse and a clever skirt with vertical wires that you can “scrunch.” Fun.

A year ago this month, I launched The Dress at 50. My first blog post was my welcome, which I published December 8th and talked about my reasons for starting my “lifestyle” blog. In my first regular blog post, which I published a year ago yesterday, I waxed poetic about my love of vintage – in particular, a certain 1960s faux fur dress that caught my eye at Treasury, a wonderful little vintage shop in Washington, D.C.

Since then, I’ve published 151 posts, starting with a routine of posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Until recently, I reluctantly reduced my postings to Tuesdays and Fridays because I needed to spend more time with another goal of mine from last year, which was to finish my novel, A Village in the Fields. There were times when I struggled to find something to say, but more often than not, I had a lot to say and a lot to share.

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

Dangly earrings from Anthropologie, Sundance rings, and beloved chunky Lava 9 ring (Berkeley, CA).

One of the most satisfying things the blog has given me is the opportunity to profile some pretty amazing women, who have inspired me with their courage, creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and generosity. I got to interview women who started their own businesses and heeded the call to do what they loved to do. In other instances, friends introduced me to women whom they thought I would enjoy getting to know and write about, which I did. What a gift that has been! I haven’t had the chance to do more profiles because of my work and my novel, but I hope to get back to publishing at least one profile a month. My profile of local proprietor Jen Komaromi of Jenny K got the most views ever, with a big spike the day it was posted, which speaks to Jen’s tremendous reach (thanks, Jen!).

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Another thing I have enjoyed is sharing my little trips within a business trip when I travel. It’s been my hobby to find one thing in each city I visit to seek out and write about. I have been pleasantly surprised to find such gems as the North Carolina Museum of Art in Raleigh, which housed Rodin sculptures inside the museum and in an outdoor garden. I’ve met wonderful people along the way, many who have inspired me, including Carl, the proprietor of Vintage Underground in Chicago. My post “Plant a tree, have a child, write a book” continues to garner daily views, making it the most consistently viewed post.

This is not to say that I have a million followers and a million views a day. Quite the opposite! I reached 10,000 views earlier this month, of which I’m still proud. I have my loyal tribe – thank you, ladies! – despite not having the ability for people to comment, which I’m told is the death knell of blogs (oh well). I had fixed the comment issue, only to have it die on me again. I’m going to try to fix it next month (again), so stay tuned.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Versatile skirt with a bright orange t-shirt, baubles, and equally scrunchy heeled boots.

Topics have been varied, but I’ve tried to stay true to my motto of living the creative, meaningful, and full life. Whatever allows me to do so is fair game for a topic. I believe I was more introspective in the early months since launching the blog and less so now as a result of work and trying to finish the novel before the year is over, which has been a herculean task. Again, I hope to do more introspective posts.

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), "vintage" Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Abacus earrings (Portland, ME), “vintage” Anthropologie necklace, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Interestingly enough, while I enjoy dressing up, which instills a certain level of self-confidence, I’ve been living in a “uniform” the last several months of knit pants, oversized sweatshirts, and tennis shoes because I’ve been too busy and too exhausted to think about putting on an outfit. I hope to change that routine in the New Year, as well. I’ve enjoyed putting outfits together and seeing how the ensemble looks, and sharing them on my blog. I’ve been drawn more to jewelry of late than clothes and being more deliberate when I do find a piece of clothing that catches my eye. Longevity, quality, sustainability, classic timelessness are the traits that guide me as I wander my favorite shops and new shops. I hope to share those traits in future outfits that I feature in my blog in 2014.

Honestly, there were many times when I would conduct an interview, write a post, or publish the post and think to myself, wouldn’t this be a great day job. I still think that – a part-time job to being a full-time novelist, that is. But for now, I’m content to share what inspires me, what helps me fuel my creativity, and what makes my life more meaningful. Here’s to another year of The Dress at 50. Join me on this journey!

Ensemble close-up.

Ensemble close-up.

Decking the halls

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
– Washington Irving, American author, essayist, historian, and biographer

Every season, we deck our halls at full tilt. I confess that when the kids were much younger, David and I spent more than 48 hours – straight, it seemed – putting up the decorations and by the end of it we were done with the holidays – and the loop of Christmas music, too. We did it for the wonder that we saw in our kids’ eyes and for recreating the kind of Christmas magic that we ourselves associated with the holidays. We also enjoyed the fruits of our labor – sitting in the living room and admiring the lights in the villages and on the tree, smelling the robust Noble Fir tree, warmed by the fire in the fireplace.

Where the family and Rex spend our evenings in December.

Where the family and Rex spend our evenings in December. Note the rustic sign on the armoire: “Bedford Falls, 5 miles” (a holiday gift from my college friend, Susan.

My beloved coffee table displays classic holiday stories, greenery, and a snowman-tree tic-tac-toe game.

My beloved coffee table displays classic holiday stories, greenery, and a snowman-tree tic-tac-toe game, another holiday gift from my college friend Susan from many years ago.

Now that the kids are older, decking the halls is much easier, and labeling boxes that tell us which building and character goes in which room has created quite the efficient process. We created an assembly line from the attic to the living room, and in no time, the halls were indeed decked. And the final ritual – which signaled that the season had officially started in our household – was taking turns showering snow over the villages. In the evenings, all four of us are on the couch. David is working on his laptop, I’m either revising my novel or writing my blog, and the kids are laboring over their homework. Oh, and we drag Rex’s bed and position it next to the fireplace, which keeps him from stretching out across the Christmas tree skirt. It’s a cozy ritual.

A cozy dining room.

A cozy dining room.

Time for a holiday dinner. Decking the halls inspires us to entertain.

Time for a holiday dinner. Decking the halls inspires us to entertain.

The Majestic Theater graces this village on our dining room sideboard.

The Majestic Theater graces this village on our dining room sideboard.

The kids have their own little lighted villages in their rooms, which they will take with them when they have their own homes. And we’ll slowly hand off the buildings and characters to them as the years go by. They even have their own small Christmas tree in their rooms with their own ornaments, given to them or made in school through the years. Our own Christmas tree is full of ornaments that we’ve collected, some as old as when I was in college. Some were gifts, some commemorated births and special occasions. Most of them hold special memories. We are missing a few years, but another tradition is getting a Swarovski star each year. The kids have their own birth years, which again, will be given to them when they have their own homes.

Our family's favorite village - the financial and city hall center - in our library.

Our family’s favorite village – the financial and city hall center – in our library.

A close-up of the village in our library.

A close-up of the village at night in our library.

We’ve had an open house one year and always have family and friends over to enjoy the decorations. Decking the halls and enjoying the evenings together is a cherished tradition that we know our kids will continue when they grow up. I’m grateful that they value it as much as we do. I look forward to the look of wonder and delight in their kids’ eyes when these old villages take up new homes.

A cozy corner in the living room.

A cozy corner in the living room.

My curated Santa collection, which includes the white Santa on the far right from a trip to NYC's Folk Art Museum when I was in graduate school, a small carved Santa from Krakow in 2002, and another carved Santa from a trip to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains in 1993.

My curated Santa collection, which includes the white Santa on the far right from a trip to NYC’s Folk Art Museum when I was in graduate school in 1988, a small carved Santa from Krakow in 2002 to the left of the white Santa, and another tiny carved Santa from a trip to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains in 1993 in the middle front.

The village on our kitchen sideboard is a food court.

The village on our kitchen sideboard is a food court.

Of course, there's a chocolate shop!

Of course, there’s a chocolate shop!

The kitchen village appropriately features restaurants and other food-related shops.

The kitchen village appropriately features restaurants and other food-related shops.