Monthly Archives: November 2013

On Black Friday, think green

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The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.
– Thích Nhất Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet, and peace activist, from Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

When I was young, the day after Thanksgiving wasn’t coined Black Friday, but my mother and my two sisters and I would get up early and drive to either Visalia or Bakersfield, the former about 40 minutes away and the latter about an hour away from home, to do our Christmas shopping at the malls. And the day after Christmas, we would go to either town and my sisters and I would spend the Christmas money that our mother gave us on holiday sales. This was a family ritual that I still look back on with fondness. It was a day that we four spent together.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, but this outfit is still classic.

An outfit from three years ago that I still wear: J. Crew velveteen jacket, tank top, Anthropologie skirt, and Ash platform boots. Accessories provide the update, including the Stuart Weitzman clutch from Secondo (Washington, DC), but this outfit is still a classic years later and for years to come.

To this day, if I hear the word “sale,” I go into “hunt” mode. And I enjoy shopping. But I no longer associate shopping with the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas. The few times I’ve ventured out both days – most notably after the kids have been born – have left me harried and anxious. They weren’t pleasant experiences like the ones I had with my sisters and my mother. Part of it is having grown older and being more easily overwhelmed with crowds and so many stores.

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

The update: Carmela Rose earrings, Ayala Bar multi-strand necklace (Contemporary Jewish Museum, San Francisco), and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Part of it is how we now spend our holidays and want to spend our holidays. The day after Thanksgiving, if we are celebrating in San Diego, we are making the eight-hour drive after a family brunch and our visit. If we are hosting, we are cleaning up after everyone leaves and then pulling down the Christmas decorations from the attic. There is no time for Black Friday shopping, and I’d rather spend that day decorating and listening to all of our Christmas CDs in a 48-hour decorating extravaganza. The kids look forward to it – my daughter is a big advocate of not decorating or even thinking about Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving – and decking the halls has become a cherished family tradition. It warmed my heart to hear both kids say, on our ride home today, how they couldn’t wait to put up the decorations, with my daughter even asking if we could start tonight. That would be a no, if we want to truly enjoy the time decking the halls!

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

Deep purple, mauves, orange, velveteen, organza, mosaics and glass.

I’m not going to judge the people who are checking off their Christmas lists as they go from sale to sale. I chuckled as I read a text message from my brother-in-law who, along with my sister and the other “crazies,” as he called them, was hitting the 50 percent off sales at the outlets late last night. My sisters and my mother and I never felt harried when we were shopping for presents. We enjoyed our time together, both in the car and in the malls. It’s just that these days I’m enjoying my time with my family doing what we want to be doing. While others are winding down from their Black Friday shopping, we are getting ready for a lot of greenery – as in Noble Fir, holly, and garlands.

Be with your family and enjoy your time together, however you choose to spend it. That’s what the day after Thanksgiving should be all about. After all.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

An outfit that will eventually be handed down to my daughter, who will be retro chic. Zero cost, sustainable, and sentimental.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.

Christmas in the City, coming soon to our house, as we deck the halls this weekend.

Road trippin’: San Diego or bust

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Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.
– Jack Kerouac, American novelist, writer, poet, and artist who coined the term Beat Generation, from On the Road

My family and I have been anxiously awaiting going down to San Diego this year for Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law and her family and our family have been taking turns hosting this holiday since 2007. It’s a time for my kids to get together with their cousins and see their aunts and uncles, and Noni and Papa. We have taken the entire week off in the past, but weren’t able to this year. I missed the last Thanksgiving in San Diego in 2011; David and the kids drove down the Sunday before. I had too much work, but I had a one-way ticket to fly down on that Wednesday. My mother was stricken with pneumonia the Monday before Thanksgiving and was in the ICU for two weeks before being sent to an acute-care facility for five weeks, after which we relieved her of her pain and said goodbye.

I'm a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

I’m a big believer in comfort on the road, and in fact, my uniform comprises sweat pants and XL sweatshirt and sneakers. But you can be stylish and comfortable at the same time, so long as the separates you choose are soft and not binding.

Last year was a strange Thanksgiving. We hosted and I was acutely aware of having had lunch at the hospital in Folsom at the previous Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law bringing in Styrofoam boxes of turkey for our dinner. Losing loved ones is hard enough, but when you lose a loved one during the holidays, those holidays are never the same. They’re just different. Last Thanksgiving was difficult, as we hit the one-year anniversary of everything connected to losing my mother.

This year, although I have always been grateful for many things and am mindful of my blessings especially at this time, I feel an urgent sense of thankfulness – for my health and my family and my extended family’s health. David and I are both crazy busy at work, but better than the 180-degree alternative. While he will be bringing work with him on our road trip, I am looking forward to a much-needed respite.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jean are stylish and comfortable.

Knit bomber jacket, graphic t-shirt, and stretchy patterned jeans are stylish and comfortable.

Given that it’s been four years since our entire family has made the Thanksgiving trek to San Diego, we are looking forward to the drive – seriously. We won’t have Rex and his bed tucked in one side of the back seat while the kids are huddled in the middle and other side, although the kids and I agree that we didn’t mind having him with us. He always wanted to come on our trips, though it’s the strange destinations that made him nervous and us ultimately realize that he’s best left at home to be tended to by all our neighbors and to be the good watchdog.

When I was a child, I enjoyed the family drives that we took to visit my dad’s brother, our Papa, and his wife, who stayed back in Los Angeles even after we moved up to Terra Bella when I was very young. There’s something about road tripping that gives me that snuggly, cocoon feeling. David says I never relax until we’re pulling out of the driveway. I check and make sure that we have everything packed, the suitcases, the sleeping bags, the blankets and pillows, the snacks, the books and magazines, the laptop for movies, the laptop for work and writing, the music. Everything we could possibly need in our car.

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

Left: Lava 9 insect pin (Berkeley, CA), Sundance rings, Carmela Rose earrings. Right: Talbots rings necklace and Kate Peterson stack of rings and necklace (Adorn & Flourish, El Cerrito, CA).

The kids still watch each other’s movie picks. They fight fiercely one moment and then are laughing the next. They have been talking about an observation car game that they played on a previous trip and are looking forward to playing again. These moments are precious. And as they grow older, as we grow older, road tripping for the holidays will become a different experience. One that I am not ready to think about just yet.

We will be driving to Lemoore and staying with David’s brother and his family for the night and then off to finish the last leg of the trip to San Diego. Isabella and David made chocolate chip cookies for my Lunafest meeting and David’s youth baseball meeting last weekend. We squirrelled away 12 cookies for our road trip – three a piece.

We are set. For all our family and friends and everyone else who are traveling this Thanksgiving holiday to be with loved ones, safe travels!

Book spine haiku, volume 7

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Clouds now and again
give a soul some respite from
moon-gazing – behold.
– Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet

Another edition of book spine haiku for your Friday. Three haikus, one by my poet friend Laurel Kallenbach, and the last two by me.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My friend, Laurel, submitted this book spine haiku.

My first offering.

My first offering.

My second offering.

My second offering. Note: Houston’s novel is about the Donner Party ordeal in the Sierra Nevadas in 1846.

A "vintage" Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smokey mauve blouse, and jeans.

A “vintage” Corey Lynn Calter open-weave sweater (Calter was at the recent Anthropologie event in Corte Madera last month), velveteen and smocked smoky mauve blouse, metallic mirrored pointy pumps, and jeans.

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Burgundy and mauve accessories: Carmela Rose earrings and necklace, Anthropologie bangle, Sundance rings, and In God We Trust band (NYC).

Shades of mauve in different textures.

Shades of mauve in different textures.

Admiration club: Angelina Jolie

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To actually feel like you’ve done something good with your life and you’re useful to others is what I was always wanting, and was always looking for.
– Angelina Jolie, American actress, film director, screenwriter, and author

I’m not into the concept of “girl crush.” I’ll use the term in a joking manner, but it’s just not part of my lexicon. I’m more comfortable with saying that I admire certain women. The other day I read an article about Angelina Jolie accepting an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian work at the Governors Awards ceremony in Hollywood this past Saturday. Jolie is one of those famous women who other women either love or late. I for one am a member of her admiration club.

My updated tribute to old-time Hollywood glamour: faux fur, vegan leather skirt, vintage brooch and mesh handbag.

My updated tribute to old-time Hollywood glamour: faux fur, vegan leather skirt, vintage rhinestone earrings, bracelet, and brooch, and vintage Whiting & Davis mesh handbag.

In accepting her award from George Lucas, she remembered her mother, Marcheline Betrand, who was only 56 years old when she died of ovarian cancer. Jolie said of her mother, “She did give me love and confidence, and above all, she was very clear that nothing would mean anything if I didn’t have a life of use to others.” I appreciate this quote because it embodies her spirit of generosity, the largeness of her heart, and a sense of community. It also entreats us to find out how we can help others and discover what our unique gift is so that we may nurture it and share it with the world.

Evoking 1940s glamour with vintage bracelet (The Cleveland Shop, Cleveland, OH), eBay vintage Weiss clip-on earrings, and Sundance ring.

Evoking 1940s glamour with vintage bracelet (The Cleveland Shop, Cleveland, OH), eBay vintage Weiss clip-on earrings, and Sundance ring.

It’s well-known that Jolie’s humanitarian work was inspired by seeing warn-torn Cambodia, where the filming of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) took place. Last Saturday, Jolie told the audience: “It was only when I began to travel that I understood my responsibility to others.” Indeed, once she returned home from making the movie, she became involved with the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees and began visiting refugee camps in international trouble spots. She has gone on more than 40 missions in more than 30 countries for the United Nations Refugee Agency.

Vintage Weiss pin (eBay) nestled in faux fur.

Vintage Weiss pin (eBay) nestled in faux fur. Mix textures with faux fur, metallic mirror pointy pumps, vintage mesh, and vegan leather.

While known for her work in refugee camps, Jolie has also been involved with the Millennium Villages Project, which is run by the Earth Institute at Columbia University, the United Nations Development Programme, and Millennium Promise. The project’s goal is to end extreme poverty, gender and health inequities, and disease through rural development, environmental sustainability, and the building of basic infrastructure.

Sans faux fur: Bejeweled neckline means you don't have to figure out what necklace to wear. A creamy crop top works well with a high-waisted pleated skirt.

Sans faux fur: Bejeweled neckline means you don’t have to figure out what necklace to wear. A creamy crop top is nicely proportioned with a high-waisted pleated skirt.

She had the financial means to buy up land in Cambodia and convert it into a wildlife reserve named after her son Maddox in 2003, later expanding the project in 2006 to become Asia’s first Millennium Village. Jolie has built and funded 10 schools in Cambodia outside of the Village and a care facility for children with HIV. In Ethiopia, she founded a children’s center named after her daughter Zahara that treats children with HIV and tuberculosis. The Global Health Committee runs both children’s centers. The Jolie-Pitt Foundation, established in 2006, funds many of the facilities and projects such as the building of schools, some of which are all-girls schools, in Kenya and Afghanistan.

Vintage rhinestone jewelry is a spot-on match for the blouse's neckline embellishment.

Vintage rhinestone jewelry is a spot-on match for the blouse’s neckline embellishment.

Jolie has lobbied for humanitarian causes, advocating for legislation to protect women and children in developing nations and war-torn regions. Clearly, she has the money and the star power to affect change. But she could easily have not done any of this work or, especially, volunteer her time. Yet she does, and it’s not a fad or a publicity stunt. Jolie is deeply connected to humanity, and it is that dedication and commitment to our most vulnerable fellow human beings and our world that makes me such an ardent admirer of her. Whatever her flaws, I don’t care. She is a role model in matters of the heart. I applaud her big heart and her humanity. Girl crush. Okay, I said it.

A contemplative Angelina Jolie - poised and elegant.

A contemplative Angelina Jolie – poised and elegant.

While everyone sleeps, I write

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A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
– Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, actress, and Civil Rights Movement activist

Late Thursday night, and everyone in the house is asleep, except for me. Mobile phone safely out of his room, my son, Jacob, is at last sleeping soundly. David turned in early, as he has to get up early for an all-day fishing trip with colleagues and a client on Friday. Isabella has always been an easy sleeper since she was a baby – she lays her head on her pillow and is dreaming within minutes. And Rex, my faithful library companion, is chasing squirrels and cats in his dreams as his geriatric hind legs jerk back and forth and his nails scratch his dog bed, hot on the hunt.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

Bold ethnic print jacket and skirt brightens a wintry day.

I am wide awake, despite the many evenings I have been sleepy and exhausted of late, in part because of the time change, the falling back. I am wide awake on this late night, and it’s the best time to write. When it’s this quiet, the words in my head and on the page are dancing, alive, pulsing with energy.

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

Carmela Rose earrings, End of Century cicada ring (NYC), and Lava 9 Art Nouveau necklace (Berkeley, CA).

It’s not so cold just yet that I need to be swaddled in a fleece blanket as I sit before my laptop. But in thinking of the late cold nights when everyone is beneath their down comforters and I must bear the thermostat having been turned down after 11PM, I remember one night before we remodeled and added on to our house. Our bedroom was my office, with our monstrous computer armoire looming in one corner of the room. When I worked late, which was often, David would sleep with the pillow wrapped around his head. Sometimes the luxury of staying up late at night was for my own writing.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

Black platform boots and sky-blue turtleneck draw out the colors in the print.

I remember one night when I was writing for myself, working on my novel. Our bedroom sat over the garage. Cold air flowed through the cracks in the hardwood floor planks, making my feet icy and numb. I was wrapped in a blanket, but anything exposed – my fingers, my nose, my ears – was cold. But I was happy. Words were shaping worlds and giving voice and action to living, breathing people. Words were making them cry and laugh, gave them wishes and regrets. Words were flowing across the computer screen as my fingers tapped away, creating a musicality.

I finished a section, happy with the way it ended, happy with the chapter’s arc. And then I looked up for the first time in hours. I turned to my right, where the picture window faced the west. Dawn was breaking. I had written all night. The realization filled me with wonder. I was cold, but I was not tired. I was alive.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

A perfect accessory match! Vintage Bakelite-inspired necklace with colored crystals and resin fanned leaves. Highlight it against a crisp white button-down blouse.

As I ponder the distractions of the last several weeks, which have tried to keep me from my writing, I think back to that one wondrous night of writing, which is not unlike a runner’s high. How to get back to that state of sheer joy? This is where the older, wiser self rises in freedom from the younger self, who has crumpled under the strain. Stand yourself up. Ask yourself: What do you really want? And then go to it. There is precious little time. With great defiance, go to your happiness. Many people are still trying to determine what makes them happy or would make them happy. But for those of us who have figured it out, against all odds, we must find our way. There are many more dawns waiting to greet me as I write.

Happy Friday!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

TGIF! I am ready for what David catches for dinner and a much-deserved glass of wine!

Enjoying a holiday evening with my daughter

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Me to Isabella: “What’s up?”
Isabella to me: “Nothin’ but love.”

Good stuff to eat and drink!

Good stuff to eat and drink!

This past Sunday I had my monthly breakfast with my Mom’s Group at La Note (2377 Shattuck Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94704, 510.843.1535) in Berkeley. I’d started the read-through of my novel – the final leg of finishing my novel – this past weekend, and I was trying to minimize my “breaks.” I had already RSVP’d for a holiday fashion show at Anthropologie, one of my favorite shops, in San Francisco after being invited by Amy, who works in corporate and was my regional contact person for the consumer group that I was a part of back in 2011. By late afternoon Sunday I did not accomplished what I’d hoped to, and I was wondering whether I should ditch the show after all.

Cute dog alert! The pup happily got to an attendee's cupcake!

Cute dog alert! The pup happily got to an attendee’s cupcake!

However, I had RSVP’d for me and my daughter, Isabella, and we haven’t had an excursion in the City since my last haircut with my old hairstylist at the end of last year. We were going to have dinner at SF Centre (865 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103, 415.495.5656), walk around the shops, and then have some treats and refreshments while at the fashion show. With life being so crazy and stressed these last three months, how could I pass up an opportunity to spend time with my daughter, who is going to be turning 11 next month?

Modeling with a flourish!

Modeling with a flourish!

The best part of the fashion show? Isabella enjoying her hot chocolate!

The best part of the fashion show? Isabella enjoying her hot chocolate!

So off we went on BART. Satiated with a chocolate chip cookie, she happily window-shopped with me. We split a pasta entrée and then headed over to Anthropologie. We were treated to mini cupcakes, macaroons, and cranberry-embellished champagne (for me) and hot chocolate with marshmallows (for her). We enjoyed the show. I saw and chatted with a couple of women who were part of the consumer group. And we enjoyed the beautiful and creative decorations in the store. Anthropologie designers are always so innovative when it comes to window dressing and store decorations. (Last year, the stores were decorated as a winter wonderland with woodland creatures, which Isabella fell in love with.) Isabella bounced around the store, checking out the stuffed animals (of course), the holiday tree ornaments, the fragrant candles, and the beautiful glassware.

It's the holidays, but I'm thinking Thanksgiving with burnt oranges and chocolate browns.

It’s the holidays, but I’m thinking Thanksgiving with burnt oranges and chocolate browns.

She fell asleep on BART coming home. And though it was too late to return to the novel when we got home, I realized it was a much-needed break. I relaxed in an environment that was festive and bright, and I got to spend quality time with a girl who is growing up much too fast. No regrets.

A burnt-orange velveteen jacket is the perfect backdrop for a vintage cameo pin.

A burnt-orange velveteen jacket is the perfect backdrop for a vintage cameo pin.

A vintage cameo pin with Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

A vintage cameo pin with Carmela Rose earrings, Sundance rings, and Lava 9 chunky ring (Berkeley, CA).

Last holiday, Isabella fell in love with a bushy paper rabbit at Anthropologie.

Last holiday, Isabella fell in love with a bushy paper rabbit at Anthropologie.